the weirdest weekend of my life.

09:59
So I just had the weirdest weekend of my life. A couple weeks ago I designed a t-shirt featuring all of my favourite podcast people. It arrived last week and so I posted a picture of it on Instagram and really didn't think anything of it. Well about 4 hours later, Joe Rogan shared my picture on all of his social media channels... Joe motherfucking Rogan people. I fangirled HARD. It was mad. Hundreds of people were commenting on both his post and mine asking where they could buy the t-shirt, and saying that I needed to sell it. Social media is amazing. I hustled Friday night to get a website up where people could buy the design. I got something organised in about 6 hours, and posted the link to the store at around 1am. I couldn't sleep that night and the next day I was getting inundated with people asking about the top. It was absolutely the weirdest, coolest, craziest thing that has ever happened to me. Also it's wild how quickly you can start your own business! I love the internet. Anyway, it most likely will be a one hit wonder but I'm going to make a few more designs for fun and see how they go. If you haven't checked it out yet, I've called it Prime Podcast Apparel. The rad thing about this experience is just the positivity coming out of the podcast community. I think that's why podcasts are so cool in the first place. You feel really connected to people. Like if I meet someone for the first time and find out that they listen to the same podcasts as I do, it's an instant connection. You can recognise straight away, "Oh this person likes what I like." I don't know, you just get this sense of belonging. It's powerful.


I got this new blender that makes smoothies and soup. You can just chuck in your raw vegetables and it will cook them for you. The future is now guys. The future. Is. Now. It's awesome. On the weekends I just make a huge batch of green soup that I take to work during the week, and green smoothies for breakfast. I don't really enjoy the green smoothies. They're okay. I know some people can make amazing tasting ones, but I'm not really aiming for taste as my priority, I just want to try and get as many nutrients into my body as humanly possible in the shortest, most convenient way. Which is why I'm on this smoothie and soup binge. I have also started buying all of our meat from this bio-dynamic farm. They deliver it for free if you order over $100, the meat is pricey but it's not as bad as I thought it would be. You just buy in bulk and freeze everything. Anyway, I bought beef bones to make bone broth. I've wanted to make it for a while, but you can only make it with organic bones (otherwise you'll get a bunch of toxins in your broth) so I just had never really bothered to go to that much effort until now. I'm working on balancing my hormones and building up my gut health, and bone broth is a really great way to do that. It's also extremely cheap to make, which is a huge bonus. Basically you're getting a massive dose of protein and minerals in a very condensed form. It's full of gelatin, which is really great for gut health as it produces gastric acid secretions that supports proper digestion and nutrient absorption. You also get glycine from gelatin, which assists in detoxification and balancing out digestive enzymes and stomach acids. Plus the amino acids from bone broth help your brain function better by lowering stress hormones and elevating the happy ones. Those are just a few of the benefits. I don't know why I'm writing it all down, just Google that shit. I'm enjoying the meal prep stuff, it makes being healthy easier. The only downside is that my weekends are so jam packed with renovating and cleaning and cooking and making bone broth for fucking 8 hours that by Sunday night I'm so exhausted I just want to eat bread and chocolate for the rest of my life.

Renovating is hard. I'm pretty good at using the drop saw, measuring and cutting wood. Until Wade's brother told me that if the piece of wood you're cutting is small, it can get caught and pulled in by the blade and cut your fingers off (if you're holding the wood). So thanks Drew. Wade is teaching me a lot. I have to give him credit because sometimes it's really boring, but I know that it's important and I need to learn, so my brain says listen but my face says, "I'm REALLY done with this." He's got the patience of saint though, and he's very thorough. We're building a garage right now. I had to hammer in nails to secure the blue board onto the wooden frame we built. Hammering nails is probably one of the worst things you could ever have to do. First off, you have to hit the nail hard. Which means you have to do these big swings of the hammer. And you're holding this tiny nail, so your fingers are RIGHT there. But if you don't hit the nail hard, it doesn't go in deep enough so when you remove your fingers from holding it, it just falls out as soon as you go to hammer it in again. The harder you hit it while holding it, the quicker you can remove your fingers. It's like fucking Russian roulette. My aim with a hammer is at novice level. I'm pretty sure I ended up hitting my fingers about 5 times. If you've never hit your finger with a hammer, it hurts as much as it sounds. Second, once you do get the nail in, you have to hit it perfectly straight or else it starts bending and then there's really no coming back from that. Hitting a nail straight is not too hard when it's at the perfect height. But as soon as you have to start working at weird heights and angles, my perception in terms of what is straight is non-existent. I ruined a lot of nails. And I lost my shit several times. But I did it. And now we have a wall. My appreciation for the art of carpentry has grown exponentially since starting this renovation project. There are so many factors you have to consider before you do anything. It's mostly problem solving and maths. Wade is spectacular at both, so I sort of just nod my head with a blank expression when he's working things out and talking me through it. Then I just say, "Sounds good!" at the right time. Like when Homer is watching 'Twin Peaks' on TV. 

I made contact with our neighbours on the weekend. They're totally fine with the pet-sharing arrangement. The woman that lives there is really cool. She pretty much just said as long as Athena is happy, that's all that matters. So I don't have to worry about them thinking we're trying to steal their dog anymore. Phew.

The other night Zeus started making these weird snorting sounds and I legitimately thought he was choking. That's one of my biggest fears, to the point where I have a poster of what to do if your pet starts choking blue tacked on our office wall. So he was standing in front of Wade and me, and doing these weird snorts that sounded horrifying. Of course I went into straight panic mode and basically yelled at Wade, "IS HE CHOKING?" Zeus is super switched on to your emotions and so he obviously felt the scared vibe I was giving off, so he ran outside, which was basically him just being like, "Mum stop acting so fucking weird and leave me alone." But to me it was like him saying, "I'M DYING AND I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE." So Wade and I ran after him and then realised quite quickly that he was completely fine and the snorting sounds were him just half sneezing... Then I immediately burst into tears because I was so relieved, and Zeus just stared at me with this blank expression on his face. Little shit.

I found out a few days ago that the man we bought our house from died last week. He basically sold his house, moved to where he wanted to retire, and then died. That would be the worst thing ever. You save up your money, start your life as a retiree, and then you don't even get to enjoy it. Life is a bitch. It does not give a fuck about you. And nothing significant happens after you die either. That's how insignificant you are. Apart from your inner circle, your death means nothing. And everything keeps moving forward as usual. That's another reason why I'm an atheist. It seems extremely obvious to me that nothing happens for a reason, and life is completely meaningless. I finished watching 'The Keepers' last night, which is about this priest Joseph Maskell who raped a bunch of girls (as in 100 reported cases), most likely murdered a nun and just got away with everything. The Baltimore Archdiocese knew as early as the 60's that he was abusing kids, and just moved him around and denied the allegations. It's disgusting. And there's no reason for that to have happened to anyone. Religion preys on people. Obviously that's my own opinion, but I think for the most part, religion is about taking advantage of people's vulnerabilities. There are positives to religion, I'm not denying that. But I think in the end, religion started because a group of people wanted control over the masses. And I don't care how it has evolved. To me, it's always been about that and it always will be.

I'm starting a podcast! After years of contemplating whether or not I should do one, I've decided to do one with my mate Anthony. It's a work in progress and it's still early days, but we're doing it. It could be a complete disaster, but I don't really care. I want to do it. Just once at least. Instagram stories is just not enough time for me to go on my rants. I need a better outlet than that. And the blog is great, but it still doesn't really satisfy my need to express myself fully. Maybe I'm just destined to make t-shirts for the rest of my life and have 17 dogs. I would not be mad at that AT ALL by the way. That's my end goal really. I'll probably die before then, just because life is like that. Man this post is really morbid. I started on a high, and it just went downhill from there. Speaking of dogs, I had all three on the bed this morning at 5:30am. I'm not really a morning person, and last night I got ZERO sleep and when you have three dogs all trying to like your face at once, it's sort of funny and sort of the most annoying shit ever. I definitely need a buffer period of around 30 minutes before I can fully function. Obviously my dogs don't know this, and I appreciate the sentiment, but seriously get off of me I'm cranky.

P.S. Now I feel guilty so I'm going to go home and lie on the floor with them until I die of happiness.
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