good girl.

I watched No Country for Old Men the other night. Spoiler alert, the ending is bullshit. First of all, the fucking guy, the serial killer, doesn't get caught. Second, the main dude dies. And third, the dude that's supposed to catch the killer, RETIRES. It is not satisfying at all. It's just depressing. I couldn't believe it. Wade was like, "I like the ending!" Ugh. I get it, it's obviously not predictable. But still... I just felt like nothing ended up happening apart from people dying. Anyway, it is actually really good. So if you haven't seen it, sorry I spoiled the ending, but still watch it. And then maybe you won't be so angry with how it finishes because you already know. I'm really sweet like that.

The other day my manager at work was like, "Oh! I thought your hair was a man for a second."


She was being 100% serious too. I had it in a plait, and I think I moved and it kind of swung around, and she caught it in her peripheral vision. And apparently it resembled a fully grown human being. You know your hair is getting long when it starts getting mistaken for an actual person.

So the bluetooth headset look is a bad look. You know those guys that walk around with their ear piece in. C'mon bruh. Just answer your phone like a normal person. You look really silly right now. For some reason those bluetooth ear pieces seem super old fashioned. I think it's also the thing where it's like they're so on demand that they literally need their phone connected to their ear at all times. Like they've just got hundreds of people calling them on a Tuesday morning.
I've been getting a lot of orders for soy baby cinos recently. Yeah, it's a legit thing. Mothers coming in and ordering soy baby cinos for their kids. Ughhhhhhhhhh. Even if your child has a dairy intolerance, it still makes me angry. And they always leave a mess. Or you have to stand at the table for 2 minutes while the parents are trying to get the kid to order it themselves.
"Tell the lady what you want." While you stand there like an idiot pretending that it's really cute when they say something that's supposed to resemble the words 'baby cino'. And then you think you can leave, but nope, they still need to say please. And that takes even longer because that child gives zero fucks about saying please. They've already told you what they want. Who cares about the please? I don't. I really don't. And I already know that you're going to order a baby cino, so instead of this 5 minute uncomfortable and awkward interaction with your child, can we please just keep it to '2 lattes and a baby cino please'. That works way better for everyone involved.

I can't decide if I find it offensive when people say "good girl" to me at work. I'm not sure whether it's condescending, or it's just people trying to be nice. A lot of men say it to me. And it's sort of creepy because I'm 23 years old. You call a 5 year old a girl. Unless you're like, "Oh hey gurllll!" Then I'm totally cool with that. But fully grown men can't say that to you. Unless they're gay. Or just flamboyant. Saying "good girl" reminds of saying something like, "good dog". Am I being a feminist right now? Anyway, these are the pressing issues that occupy my thoughts on a regular basis.

I feel like my blog is slowly becoming just a blog about hospitality life. In my defence, a lot of hilarious/infuriating things happen. A lady ordered a decaf soy piccolo yesterday. And then she sent it back because it wasn't strong enough for her. Are you fucking kidding me? That's not even a real order. What's the point? Because you enjoy the deep and rich blend of the decaf coffee and your soy milk? Ick. Instead I just made it a regular soy piccolo. Just fucking packed with caffeine. "Strong enough for you now?" Just kidding. I didn't really do that. I did think that her coffee order was completely ridiculous however. And muttered something to myself about it. And that's as far as it went really. Pretty anticlimactic I guess. Just like No Country for Old Men it seems. Oh the irony. Other things people shouldn't be allowed to order are expressos and mugaccinos. Those are not coffees. They aren't even real words. You've just put the word espresso and express together to create some god awful hybrid word that makes my eye twitch every time I hear it. And mugaccino. Why? Why do you have to do that? Just say a large cappuccino. Or a cappuccino in a mug. Is it that hard?

Yesterday I was talking to a couple and I used the word 'splinter' in a sentence, and the lady was like, "what does splinter mean?" Um... what? At that point my eyes kind of glazed over. How do you not know what splinter means? It's not like it's an uncommon word. Had this lady never gotten a splinter in her finger? What did she call it then when a small sharp fragment of wood lodged itself in her skin? How frustrating to not have a word to describe that. And what a deprived childhood if she never had to get her mum to fish out a splinter from her pinkie finger. Getting splinters was hardcore when I was a kid. I climbed a lot of trees, so the word splinter was learnt at a very young age. I also used to catch garden snakes, and spy on beavers. How's this - I grew up in a town called Beaverton. It's a place in Oregon in the US. And yes, we did have a lot of beavers. What an unfortunate name for a place. Beaverton. Is that not the most American thing you've ever heard? How about the people that named it.
"Well there's a lot of beavers here. And it's a town."
"What about Beavertown?"
"That's too obvious."
"Okay... what about, BeaverTON."
 "Nailed it!"

I dropped my phone in the toilet the other night. That's a frightening experience. The worst part was that I had peed, and then I turned around to flush the toilet, and my phone somehow miraculously flung out of my pocket and into the bowl. Sigh. And then for some weird reason, when something like that happens, you just go into full ninja mode. I literally grabbed my phone out of the toilet in about 2 milliseconds flat. I didn't even know I had reaction time that quick. The upside of this was that my phone only managed to get half submerged in the toilet water/urine. The downside of this was that my phone, was now covered, in my own urine. I put it in a bowl of rice because apparently it'll attract Asians and they'll come and fix your phone. Just kidding. I read that in a meme and thought it was hilarious. I'm not sure how it translates written into blog context form, it probably just comes out racist, but I'm Asian so I can say whatever I want. But yeah, the rice thing gets all the water out. Or urine in this case. And my phone is fine. So there you go. That happened.

Did you know that you have to pay more to be an apprentice if you already have a degree? It's like the Government is trying to make it an incentive to not further educate yourself. Isn't that bullshit? Apparently it's looked at as a downgrade if you hold a degree, but want to learn a trade as well. That doesn't make any sense at all. For one thing, I'm pretty sure we need more tradespeople, not more Arts Degree students. People that know how to build things, and make stuff. They're pretty important. I wish I could do a trade. I'd be an electrician I think. Female electricians get good money. So I've read anyway. Men are so lucky they can just go into any industry. Not like I'm desperate to be an electrician either. It would just be sort of interesting and I'd like not having to deal with people all the time. I've turned into such a recluse. All I want is a job where I don't have to deal with anyone but myself. I should become a writer. Or a crazy person. I don't think I could ever write a book. I don't have an imagination that could support that type of work. Unless the book was about the retarded things that happen to me at work. That I could probably write about. Or legalizing marijuana. I'm pretty sure I could do a book on that. My problem is, I have too many ideas. And I'm not saying that in a good way. I like to indulge in an idea, and then I come up with 15 other ideas that I find just as amusing to entertain the thought of. I have this awesome idea for a computer mouse. But I don't want to say it because I think it's brilliant and I want to keep it up my sleeve in case I become knowledgeable in the art of designing and creating computer mice. Is that the plural form for computer mouse? I guess it must be. It sounds weird to me. Anyway, if there are any investors out there, my idea is friggin' gold.

An old guy ordered a flat white the other day. I made it for him, and then he said to me, "This is cold."

Well, how about I pour the coffee on your face, and you tell me if it's still cold. It's not cold. It's just that you are old, and your taste buds are dead. Fucking old people. I can't remember if I've bitched about people asking whether we have seniors discount. What even is that? You get things cheaper because you're old? That doesn't make sense. Do I get things cheaper because I'm young? If anything I should get things the cheapest because I have the least amount of money. You, old person, should be charged the most, because you've had the longest time to accumulate funds and savings. Old people have this sort of self-entitlement thing going on that is just really gross to witness. I see it all the time. They give you these looks. Like they're just so much better than you. As if it should be our pleasure to serve them. Ugh. It makes me sick. Some old people are awesome though. Don't get me wrong. I love the shit out of this one couple that comes in to work. They give me hugs and I feel like they're my pretend grandparents. And the woman, Nola, always pinches my cheeks and says to me, "Don't work too hard!" She's adorable. You don't hear names like that anymore. Nola. Stan is another old person name you don't really hear. It's funny how names go in and out of fashion. Wade's name always gets messed up. The other day, a lady called him Wayne. And a few weeks ago, a woman thought his name was Dwayne. Those are both awful names by the way. My Pop calls him "Wait". He does it on purpose because he thinks he's being funny. That's such an old person thing to do. I've gotten Bobby before. But that's it. You can't really turn Bonnie into too many different variations. I get a lot of nicknames though. My boss calls me Running Bear sometimes. He thinks I look Native American. My black friend calls me Bonaynay. I like that. It's like my version of Shonequa.

I'm really sad that GoT is over. And I miss The Walking Dead like crazy. The new season of Hannibal has started but it's shit. The first 2 episodes are out and they both are bad. That's depressing. When a TV show takes a direction that you're not okay with at all. Hint hint Game of fucking Thrones. I'm not going to spoil anything in case you're one of those people that haven't seen the episode yet. But it sucks donkey kong. Now what am I supposed to watch? I don't know how to end this blog post. I think I'm going to finish it with this scene from The Walking Dead though. Remember Shane? He was so bad ass.

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