just die.

Alright. I'm just going to go straight out and say it. I'm obsessed with League of Legends. Holy shit is it fun. I wish I had've started playing computer games years ago. Because then I wouldn't have to go through this whole noob-stage. It sucks. I'm actually not too bad at it now, I'm level 19. Most of my credit has to go to Wade, because he's such a complete nerd. He explained everything to me in about 5 minutes. He literally taught me more in 5 minutes of me watching him play, then I learnt from 5 hours of youtube. Anyway. It's the funnest thing ever. My summoner name is Captain Inseino. OH YEAH. My favourite part about playing LoL is when you kill the same hero, over and over again. They come back with a vengeance to kill you, but they're blind with fury so they make bad judgement calls, and you just keep wrecking them because you're stronger than they are. Ughhh it makes me so happy. And you know that on the other end they're sitting at their computer just losing their mind. But then on the flip side of that, my god, when I get killed. Wow. Who would've thought I could get so infuriated. I'm pretty level headed, but when you die in that game, it's soul crushing. Oh, and my other favourite part about LoL is the chat. I was pretty nice at first, but now I'm full blown dick mode most of the time. It's so much fun. Just abusing people over their retardedness. And the things people say are so hilarious. The best is when they come up with excuses for why they're playing so bad. Like 'oh sorry this chick is texting me non-stop and I can't get her to leave me alone'. Uh-huh. Sure thing mate. I bet you're really just fighting them off with a stick over there. Meanwhile, he hasn't left his room in 3 days and is wearing the same pair of underwear since Tuesday. I know this because yes, I too have also spent 3 days without leaving the house wearing my angry birds pyjama pants playing LoL non-stop. But that's not the point. It's really hard to do anything else, but play the game. It's like all other priorities, such as eating and sleeping, become secondary. Suddenly it gets to 3am and you realise all you've had to eat is a peanut butter sandwich and are operating on 4 hours sleep from the night before. I don't really mind though. Speaking of peanut butter. I paid $7.20 for peanut butter the other day. I was pretty outraged by it. I picked it up and saw the price, and then made a face and put it back on the shelf. And then 2 seconds later I decided I really wanted peanut butter so I grabbed it. I can't decide if that's the normal price for peanut butter these days, or if the Chinese lady that owns the milk bar down the street is totally ripping me off. My local milk bar is pretty hilarious. One time I went in there, and the dude was on a spin bike behind the counter. He was watching some terrible Chinese soap opera. I mean, at least he's working out. I'm pretty sure they just go to Coles and buy all their products, and then re-sell them individually. Which is hell illegal. I know this for a fact actually, because they sell Coles brand items there. And I was like, "don't you have to buy this shit from Coles...?" Chinese people give zero fucks though.

I got tickets to see Bill Burr. BILL FUCKING BURR. He is my favourite comedian of all time. I'm psyched. I've seen all of his specials multiple times. He's here this month. It's gonna be awesome. Also, I started getting into Doug Benson's stand up. If you haven't heard him before, he's freaking hilarious. He did a documentary called 'Super High Me'. Basically it's Super Size Me but instead he just gets blazed for 30 days. But he also stays sober for 30 days, and he does these tests during both bouts of sobriety and blazedness (new word I just made up - go with it). And the whole film is about comparing how he is sober to being high. Basically he's the same. Except for his maths skills. When he's high, his maths skills are horrific. My maths skills are terrible when I'm at my smartest. I did long division the other day, and I actually got the answer right. Oh my god. I lost my shit. Over LONG DIVISION. It was a milestone in my mathematical career. If that's what you want to call it. I blame my hatred for maths on the teachers I had at school. Dude, I was in advanced maths at one point in time. ADVANCED. And then I got one bad teacher, and then another bad teacher... and it just went downhill from there. I had one teacher that told me to look in the book when I asked him for help. What is the point of having a teacher then? I hated that guy. He hated me as well. I ended up leaving that class to go to dumb maths. If you've ever been in the "special" class for a subject, you realise very quickly, that it's the best class you'll ever be in. Special maths was a place of joy and happiness that I'd never experienced before. Mostly because it was just filled with the duds of the year level. And most duds are hilarious. I actually don't remember doing any work in that class. Good times.

I can't remember if I've spoken about my swollen patellar tendons. But, I have swollen patellar tendons. And have had them for quite some time now. Basically my knees feel fat and sore after I work out. Apparently it can become a chronic issue if I continue to annihilate them. Greatttt. You know what? I am so fucking sick of these injuries. And diseases. Oh yeah, fun fact. After you get hand, foot and mouth disease, sometimes your finger nails start to peel off just because. It happens about 3 weeks after you get it, and then all of a sudden half your finger nail just comes off. For no apparent reason. So that's where I'm at right now in my life. AND I just found out that Phil Collins' In The Air Tonight isn't a true story. I'm so sorry if this is the first time for you hearing this. But yes, it is in fact, an urban legend. This whole time I thought that song was real, and that Phil Collins really did see someone not save someone from drowning, and then see that same person in the crowd of his concert. Okay, now that I have written that down, it does seem a little farfetched. But still! That song is so fucking dope. And now I just wish that I never found out at all. Sometimes ignorance really is bliss.

The other day I was trying to write extroverted. But instead I wrote outroverted. It does seem like it could be a word. Sort of. Don't judge me.

I really enjoy Instagram. Especially when people post photos up that you know are just completely set-up. I saw a chick that I follow put up a picture of a bowl of muesli and the newspaper open to the financial section. And it said something like, "such a perfect morning"... Bitch please. You do not read the financial section. Everybody knows it. Just stop. I was contemplating commenting it with some really complicated financial statement, but then I realised that I too know nothing about the financial state of our country. So I went back to browsing pictures of dogs.

Sometimes when Wade and I go to the supermarket, we pick produce items that we think would be great weapons, and then act out how we would use said weapon. The other day I grabbed the 1L bucket of hummus and started to hurl it at him hammer throw style. That would really fuck someone up if they got in the way of that. Durian fruit is the other one. They always come in a netted bag. So basically they're like a mace. Because Durian fruit are covered in a really hard spiky shell. Apple Custard fruit are also quite durable. Anyway, if there was some sort of zombie apocalypse and I was stuck in the supermarket, I know what weapons I'd go for. And that's what gives me the edge that others won't have when it happens. I'll be loading up on a trolley of hummus buckets and durian fruit, and all the squids will just have toilet paper and bread loafs to throw. Rookies.

I love the English language. But I've realised I really don't enjoy hearing people overuse adjectives. Like saying how everything is fantastic. It's just fantastic. That's so fantastic. Oh my god fantastic! Wow that tastes fantastic. You look fantastic. How fantastic is this?... Just die. You are overusing that word. Fantastic means that it's extraordinarily good, or seeming more appropriate to the imagination than to reality. So is it really fantastic? Or is it just good? Because when something is actually fantastic, how will you be able to describe it accurately since you say your tuna sandwich is fantastic. Which I highly doubt. I'm pretty certain that your tuna sandwich, is not closer to that of the tuna sandwich of your dreams than just normal, real life tuna sandwiches. But if it is. Then damn I want to try that sandwich.

I had to get an UberX the other day, and the guy had one magazine available to read in his car. It was a Bitcoin magazine. I felt so on trend. Riding in my UberX reading the Bitcoin magazine. I should've posted it on Instagram so that people thought I was some sort of Bitcoin wizard. I guess that's the thing with writing a blog. Anyone who reads my blog, would straight away call bull shit on that. Because I have explained various times how I want to get bitcoins, but I really don't understand it enough to invest. And since I understand normal money, I might as well just hold on to that. That's my thought process around the whole situation anyway.

I find nonnas really scary. There are a lot around my area. And they all dress head to toe in black. With those weird black scarf things wrapped around their heads. And crocheted shawls. Why so creepy? Why do they have to dress like witches? Or like Bathilda Bagshot from Harry Potter. Maybe that's why they freak me out so much. Because they look like they could potentially be possessed. I don't know. I just get weird vibes when I'm near them. I'm sure they're sweet and completely harmless. But that's what Harry thought about Bathilda...

I have recently discovered the joys of desktop background threads. I used to never understand why people would start threads where they would share cool desktop background pictures. I guess I just didn't really see the appeal. It's just a desktop background. What does it matter? But then I decided to be open minded and actually embark on finding a picture for my desktop. And it happened. I found one. And now I understand. For I was blind, but now I see. Desktop background pictures are rad. If you find good ones anyway. And I still don't really know what the general consensus is around how you judge a good picture to a bad one (apart from the obvious reasons anyway). But yeah, I feel like I want to be a better person with my new background. It really is awesome.

dat desktop background though

No comments:

Powered by Blogger.