that's original.

Sometimes when I read the news, I get really fired up and start writing down all the things that make me angry but then I don't post it because I know that I'm going through a sort of meltdown that probably isn't entertaining for anyone to read. It's kind of like therapy to me. I do sound like one of those people that could potentially become like an Alex Jones. A much dumber version anyway. Or maybe more like Giorgio A. Tsoukalos from Ancient Aliens. Dude I love that show. They're so passionate about the fact that only aliens could move those massive stones around. And then that one guy debunked the shit out of that theory and built his own Stonehenge in his backyard in Michigan.

Rob and I watched The Godfather the other night. We both had never seen it. I really struggle with mobster movies. When I reread that sentence, I read 'lobster movies'. Anyway, first off, this guy Sonny, totally looks like Chael Sonnen. Rob was like, "hey that's Chael Sonnen!" and then of course I responded, "really!?" Like an idiot. Secondly, all these mafia guys have such similar names. There's Calo, Fabrizio, Bruno, Cuneo, Fredo, Carlo, Tessio, Sollozzo, Don Vito... Obviously someone who thinks that a UFC fighter could potentially have been an actor in a movie from 1972 has no room to remember or even process any of these characters. But Rob hates it when I talk during a movie so I just sat there until it finished and told him that I didn't understand anything that happened.

The other day I was supposed to go to yoga, and then instead I binged on peanut butter M&Ms and proceeded to hate myself for the next hour while my stomach felt like it was slowly killing me as it attempted to digest the food bomb I just unloaded on it.

I was in bed watching youtube videos of Bas Rutten demonstrating different submissions like a rear naked choke and a heel hook and junk. He is so scary. But also seems very cuddly at the same time. Such mixed messages. Anyway, after I tried to teach myself how to do it, because I'm too scared to go to a BJJ class, I dreamt that a guy attacked me and I choked him out! Well, it took me four goes to get it right in my dream, but when I finally did the guy tapped. Which is kind of weird that he tapped because the situation wasn't supposed to be just us rolling until someone taps. Dude was trying to sexually harass me. I have no idea WHAT the fuck I'm thinking about that leads to dreams like that. Apparently it means I feel like a part of my life is out of control or that I'm vulnerable. Stupid dream symbolism site. Keep your judgemental opinions to yourself.

My arm and leg got bitten by a spider and now I feel like the elephant man. It's really unsettling. Then I asked Rob if he could stop making it itchy, so he brought out his voodoo box of weird medicines, and took out this thing called 'dragon's blood'. And he applies it by an eye dropper. INTO YOUR EYE. Okay that last part wasn't true. He just drops the liquid onto the affected area. But it looks like blood! And there wasn't an ingredient list on the bottle AND it was from a pharmacy in Hobart. So basically what I'm trying to say is that I'm in some fresh hell right now because my arm and leg are so itchy that I'm willing to have mystery potion applied to my body by an untrained professional. Sounds like the US pharmaceutical industry. Oh no I didn't just do that. Wait a second. Yes, yes I did.

Speaking of the US pharmaceutical industry! The FDA has approved a prescription pain pill that contains 5 times the amount of hydrocodone previously available in the US. War on drugs seems to be doing really well for them. I read 1 in 3 people who use drugs, started out using pain pills, and that the US uses 80% of the world's opioids supply. The fucked thing is that the US only produces 5% of that, and they get the rest from other places like Afghanistan. Afghanistan is responsible for 90% of the world's supply. Why are we over there again? Oh yeah, because they have sweet poppy fields that we need to protect and look after or else they'll be taken advantage of and distributed in an illegal fashion that the government can't make money off of! It's all so simple now! I apologize for my passive aggressiveness. I'm just upset because I read a bunch of articles on the NSA and fracking and journalists getting detained illegally by US military. On the upside, the dude in his car in front of me today had a bumper sticker that said 'free tilikum'. I wanted to yell out of my window at him that I liked his sticker, but I thought that'd be creepy.

I'm sitting on this furry wool blanket thing, and it is really getting all up in my spider bite. If you didn't know by the way, furry woollen materials feel awesome on itchy things. And yet I continue to sit here. Because I'm lazy. And I know that if I walk away from my computer right now I'll probably never post this. So I'm going to put up with it. FOR YOU. I've used a lot of caps. I'll stop doing that. It's kind of aggressive.

I'm thinking about bitcoin a lot. I wonder if I should buy some. The other day I was like, "should I buy stocks in something?". Then I tried to read a few articles on buying stocks, and I realised that I have no idea about stocks and never will. That ship has sailed. The comprehension of really grown up things like the stock market and negative gearing. It'll never be my strong suit. I got a D+ in geography and pretty sure I almost failed chemistry when I was in high school. My friend said to me today, "oh I gotta go do this power of attorney thing" and my brain almost exploded. I'm good at remembering weird facts and song lyrics. Did you know 50% of our DNA is the same as a banana's? MIND BOMB. Dang it I said I wouldn't write anything in caps lock anymore. But you just don't get the same effect. Also, I was thinking the other day about mushrooms and how they are more closely related to humans than plants. Does that mean mushrooms aren't vegan? Also, our brain does this thing where it excludes visual 'noise' and doesn't give you a fresh snapshot of what you're seeing in the present moment, but rather an average view of the past 10 - 15 seconds. It's called a continuity field, and without it, we'd be overloaded with what would be like a hallucinogenic experience that'd be too extreme for human beings to handle on a daily basis. WHAT! That's insanity. Oh shit I started watching Cosmos with Neil deGrasse Tyson. That dude actually hurts my brain. When I was little I wanted to be an astrophysicist. Oh how life has changed. It's depressing thinking about all the things you could do when you were a kid. And now how unskilled you are as an adult. Life is so complicated and confusing sometimes. Why can't I just be a skateboarder that knows BJJ and DJs on the side, and is also an astronaut?

Guess I'm just destined to be a 20-something adult aimlessly wandering through life without a clear direction or purpose. Because that's original.
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