quite the connoisseur

I was meant to go to yoga tonight, and then I came home and sat on the couch in front of the air conditioner and ate ham instead. Sometimes I think I'm killin' it in life, and then other times, I think I'm really just not going anywhere in the world. But I did muster up the energy (do people still say 'muster'? It sounds really weird if you say it over and over again.) to go out walking with Rob in this ridiculous Melbourne weather. In case you haven't heard or noticed, Melbourne's weather at the moment is out of control. We had a week of 40 degree heat, then it dropped about 20 degrees, and now we're back up to 35 degree weather. Get your shit sorted Melbourne. Apparently it's because of this hole in the ozone layer that's above Victoria. Which I only got told about two weeks ago. It was said to be common knowledge. I had no knowledge of it at all.

I got an article in WOD Magazine! It's the first Australian CrossFit magazine, and I wrote about breaking my neck. It's like I've come full circle. It was pretty rad seeing it published. Here's the link if you want to check it out!
my article!
Speaking of CrossFit, I haven't really been doing much of it. My Chinese Medicine Practitioner says I shouldn't be lifting weights. He's been telling me that for the past three months, so the last time I saw him I decided to actually listen to him. I mean, I had definitely backed off from doing weights. I tried to do this complex about a week and a half ago that was 6 sets of 3 front squats, then 6 back squats at 70% of my 1 rep max. My god. What an awful experience. I couldn't do the last set because my back wasn't feelin' it. But holy shit I thought I was going to die. And then I tried to do push press, and was doing 10 kilos lighter than usual. And then I had to drop the weight down by another 2 kilos. God damn it. That was when I decided to stop doing weights. So I didn't really end on a good note, but when I felt my back go I thought it just wasn't worth it. Even if my pride is telling me that I'm a little bitch. I did go back into the gym and do Annie (50, 40, 30, 20, 10 of double unders and sit ups) and got a minute faster than my last PB. So that was good. Or else I would've been pissed. Let's be honest.

I made jerky the other week. I've already eaten it ALL. I'm such a piglet. That means I eat a lot but I'm still kinda small. Operative word being kinda. Anyway, I do consider myself quite the jerky connoisseur. Took me three goes to get 'connoisseur' spelt right. Luckily spelling has nothing to do with jerky makin'. I've explained how I make jerky before in this blog, so I'm going to save you the trouble of reading something twice. But in conclusion, my jerky tastes like sex in your mouth.

all of the meat.
I've been doing a lot of yoga lately. I went 4 times last week! My hamstrings are forever sore. I'm finding that my body is already more flexible though. Plus I sweat out about half my bodyweight in each class so that's helpful. I pretty much turn into a human slip n slide.

Rob and I watched the documentary 'Blackfish' the other night. It's such bullshit what we do to killer whales. Oh by the way, the movie is about Seaworld and how fucked up it is. First off, whales have a part of their brain that humans don't have. Their brains are more developed than ours in that particular area. Secondly, they aren't supposed to live in a tank and swim around in a circle and do tricks for their whole life. Seaworld does all this shady shit to make you think that they saved the whales, or that they live longer in captivity, but that's all horse shit. There's a whale at Seaworld that has killed TWO trainers, and they still use him in shows to do tricks. THE FUCK. I don't understand why we think it's okay. I guess growing up you just think, 'yeah that's normal to see whales do that'. But then, imagine if there was a theme park you could go to where you could watch elephants or bears do tricks and live in a cage no bigger than 3 times its size. People would be outraged and call it animal cruelty. It just doesn't make sense why nothing has been done about it. Anyway I know I'm going on some major rant right now but it pisses me off that humans are so dumb.

Speaking of dumb, I dreamt about tupperware containers the other night. And then last night, I dreamt about pushing a prowler around and doing burpees... This is my life. Also, I didn't take alpha brain those nights, so that's probably why my dreams were hell stupid.

I've been making green smoothies in the mornings because I've decided I need to shove more green things in my face hole. I've been killin' it the last week with making delicious smoothies that are mostly just spinach, celery and cucumber with coconut water and a bit of fruit to sweeten the deal. Well today I used kale, and it tasted like ass. It literally made me dry gag. I had to add cacao protein powder to it. And it still tasted like butt hole. Fuck kale. It's so god damn hard to work with. And everyone raves about it's amazing super food abilities. And I have committed myself to trying to work with it, and trying to find different ways to eat it. But at the end of the day, spinach is way easier and tastes good all the time.

My Mum's started her own business selling dog wear. She's done this all in about 2 months. She is the epitome of 'getting shit done'. She has a website. A facebook page. An instagram account. And a blog. I've decided that I need to get my website properly designed. It's on my to do list. It goes right after attending a BJJ class and learning how to DJ.

I ate them all.
I just made a salad with pomegranates in it. God damn pomegranates are delicious. Ridiculously delicious. I'd have to say they're my favourite thing to eat right now. And then right after that is home made iced coffee. Rob has started making them, and now I can't stop. And the worst part is, I pretend like I'm not having ice cream because I'm like 'it's an iced coffee'. It's not. It's coffee. With ice. And milk. And a big scoop of vanilla ice cream in it.

Basically it's my excuse to eat ice cream.

No wonder I'm doing burpees in my dreams.

P.s. I want to learn how to write short stories. I read a short story in Vice magazine the other day about dudes doing drugs with a homeless guy. And it made me want to write about doing drugs with a homeless guy. The end.

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