genius.

16:35
Sometimes when I'm riding my bike, I try to really focus on activating my glutes. I pretend that all my power has to come from my butt. Anyway, I realised during my ride, like this sweet, epiphanic moment, that my left glute just does not work. It's so lazy. It doesn't want to be there. Even now I'm squeezing my butt on the couch just thinking about it, and my right side takes all the load. I attribute a lot of my crossfit problems to this left glute.

Speaking of crossfit, I did my longest handstand walk last week! I did it at work in our yoga studio/meeting room. It was around 7 metres long. Actually a lot of exciting crossfit related things happened to me in these past two weeks. I finished my Smolov Jr program. That's awesome. That program sucked. I mean, sucked in a good way. But still, 10 x 3 back squats at 85% of your 1 rep max plus 5kg's is not enjoyable for anyone. I did a grading day at my gym, where I had to do my olympic lift total (snatch and clean & jerk) and then the crossfit total (back squat, strict press, deadlift). Woah nelly. That was intense. I managed to get all PBs so that was good. I actually got super excited because I got a 47.5kg snatch and I even managed to land a 50kg snatch but I kind of collapsed in the bottom of my squat and then lost it. So I'm aiming to do it next week. It was in my goals to get a 50kg snatch by August, so I gotta hustle. I read this thing once that said, "good things come to those who hustle". I agree with that. Anyway, that was probably the highlight of the day. I was super disappointed with my back squat. I only added on 2.5kg onto my last 1RM. What. The. Shit. I just spent 3 weeks doing back squats and I get out a measly 82.5kg back squat. Brutal. Not really. I know it's a very first world problem-esque complaint. And I apologise. But still. That is not cool. I blame my left glute for this.

I made a meme for one of the guys in finance at work. It was quite hilarious if I don't say so myself. Some called it genius. And by some, I mean me.

I made oatmeal raisin cookies. But paleo style. So they're not oatmeal at all, but that's what they were inspired by. So I'm just going with that name. Maybe I should call them foameal. But then it depends on how people read that. Because it could totally be misinterpreted like foam-eal. And they think of something that is foamy and eel like. I digress. These cookies are freaking outrageous. I made the recipe up and it worked a treat. I love it when that happens. It's one of those small wins that just makes you feel like you're a good person inside. Not really. It just makes me say "booyah!" and eat all the cookies in a celebratory gorge.

cookies all up in my grill.
I've decided that majority of the things I learnt at school have been insufficient and useless in my life. School would be much more beneficial if things like nutrition, banking, real estate, travel, alternate media and conspiracy theories were taught. Classes like 'learn how to not be an asshole' and 'question everything' would've been awesome. It doesn't make sense at all that you don't learn life skills at school. The only things I remember learning about "life" were not to do drugs, don't have unprotected sex, don't throw rocks at moving cars and wear a helmet when riding a bike. Literally, those are the only things that come to mind. Plus, how stupid do you have to be to throw rocks at cars. Why'd they feel the need to establish that, of all the things you could drill into a student's brain, it's to not drop a big rock off a bridge into a moving car. School, developing leaders in the world one lesson about rocks at a time.

I like the idea of getting a tattoo. My 'tattoo' pinterest board is pretty sweet. I'm thinking my forearm would be a great place for one. Jordan told me that I need to hurry up and get one already. And then as reassurance she showed me this guy she follows on instagram that does laser tattoo removal. That is reassuring. You can get a tattoo removed in like two sessions. It's ridiculous. Not that I'm planning on getting my non-existent tattoo removed. But it is comforting to know that you could get that done and look squeaky clean.

I'm going through the "I want to go travelling" stage at the moment. I've been looking at places Rob and I can go to cheaply. It's not going so well. Once the weather gets better I'll be less inclined to want to go away. I can't believe it's almost September. What is happening? Then it'll be Christmas and then the crossfit open. Jesus. Life moves fast. I watched a video yesterday of a dude using jelly beans to show you how many days on average you have in life. It's kind of insane how little jelly beans there are. And then it made me think, what am I doing with my jelly bean day? Sitting on the couch, blogging, listening to music and baking paleo cookies. Seems legit.

he must've watched the jelly bean video too.
I had a remedial massage the other day. At one point, I was gripping on to the table for dear life. I was getting my hamstrings massaged. That just opened up a whole new kind of pain I didn't know I could experience. It was awful. Rob does that a lot. He knows all those painful points to push. He has ridiculously strong hands. His thumb is literally double the size of mine. Due to my baby-like features (my ears are also suspiciously small) I really have no chance against him. He grew up in the bush. Taking care of goats. And living in Tasmania. I did none of those things. My only defence mechanism is to curl up into a ball or just go full hulk mode and try to over power him. Try being the operative word because I always fail. But at least my heart is in it. And he appreciates that.

Due to the fact that it is Sunday, I have to clean the bathrooms now. My life, it is riveting.

Oh, p.s. here is the paleo oatmeal raisin cookie recipe:

Ingredients:
2 cups slivered almonds
1 cup almond meal
1/4 cup coconut flour
1/2 - 1 cup of shredded coconut (depends how much you like)
raisins (I just did this by eye, again, depends how much you want)
1/2 teaspoon bi-carb soda
2 eggs
a few tablespoons of oil (coconut, macadamia, whatever)
3 tablespoons of honey
a dash of vanilla extract
cinnamon

Combine all these ingredients and mix well. It should be pretty sticky, but it won't form into a consistent dough due to the slivered almonds. If it's not sticking enough though (you can test this by balling it up into your hand) then add a bit more oil. Once you're happy with the consistency, ball up the dough into cookie pieces and place onto a baking tray with baking paper. Your oven should be at around 160 degrees. Forming your cookies is a little difficult, just ball it up firmly and then flatten onto the tray. That's the best way to keep them from falling apart. Sprinkle a bit of salt on top and put them in the oven for around 10 minutes (until the edges turn brown). Then take out to rest on a cooling rack.

They are freaking yum. Eat the shit out of them and enjoy.

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