almost insulting.

Some days I feel like eating everything possible on the face of the earth just to try and deal with my irrational emotions. That day was yesterday for me.

It all started with my phone not working. On Monday, it randomly decided it didn't want to live anymore. So that was awesome. And then I couldn't get in to the apple store until Thursday, and on top of that, I had to book in to go to the apple store which always sucks a fat one. I wasn't off to a very good start. Anyway. Made my way to the apple store yesterday afternoon to see if they could help me. No luck, basically my phone was fucked and I had to upgrade to a new one. And I dealt with 3 employees, and they were all overly nice. Like too nice. Or at least too nice to a raging hormonal lady that has a broken phone. It was almost insulting. One of the girls there called me "babe". Multiple times.

I think I might have death stared her. Straight into her soul. And then in my mind I told her "fuck you".

Not really, that's so mean. Only part of that sentence was true. You can decide which part.

It was all of it.

Okay but seriously it wasn't. I'm not that horrible. I did feel awful afterwards though, and then like a gleaming beacon of hope I saw the words "Tasti-Dlite". So I got tasti-dlite. I ate about 5 spoonfuls of that and then kind of had a moment of "what the shit am I doing this tastes like balls!" and proceeded to throw away the tasti-dlite. Here's a fun fact. I ate it in the car in the parking lot. Upon reflection, that was a very sad moment for me. Then I decided on my drive home that I wanted mexican food for dinner. So I went on a rampage at the supermarket and bought gluten free corn tortillas, corn chips, salsa and various other mexican-ish ingredients. And I did the self check out thing, and thought that I'd have enough money to pay for it in cash. Well, turns out I was 65 cents off. THE FUCK. I asked the girl next to me if she could give me 65 cents. Like a crazy mexican lady. My bag was just overflowing with mexican goods. I must've looked desperate. Luckily she was happy enough to oblige... or didn't want any trouble. I might have looked slightly frightening. It had been a long day.

On top of that, I just kept making myself feel like a jerk because I was losing my shit over the smallest things. And all I could hear in my head was Louis C.K.'s voice echoing in the background doing his bit about mobile phones. If you haven't heard this bit. Look it up now. It's hilarious. Actually, I think it's from his show 'Hilarious'. Huh. What a coincidence. Anyway, so then I felt like the first world problems asshole walking around, devouring my corn chips in the living room while Rob just kept out of the way. Poor Rob. He randomly just went to bed like an hour early. I think I scared him that much. God I can be a raging bitch sometimes. Just incase you didn't know.

So that's what my week has been like. Just craving bread and chocolate and not wanting to work out. It's awesome. And no I'm not pregnant.

I'm kinda pissed about the CrossFit Games this year. I really was disappointed with the 21km row. I just feel like, these people are crossfitters... they should be doing crossfit things. Not stupid counter-productive workouts like a freaking half marathon row. The whole point of crossfit is that it's functional fitness. I don't see the functionality in a half marathon row. Unless you're prone to being stuck out at sea, that shit is unnecessary. Not going to lie. It took me about 4 goes to get the word 'unnecessary' spelt correctly. That's not true. I tried to spell it correctly 4 times, and then gave up. Usually I'm really good at spelling. Today is not one of those days. I remember in grade 6 we had a spelling test, and I copied a word from my friend Charlie. It was either neighbour or environment. Either way, both were hard to spell at 11.

I need to do my taxes. I really don't want to. I feel like I don't have the mental capacity to deal with that. It was hard enough for Rob to teach me how to do long division (don't ask me how to do it), I just think I should go with the old faithful tax accountant dude to do it. And just pay the fee. I think I'll give it a go, Jordan has assured me it's a simple process online. Jordan is also much more clever than I am. So I don't know how to take that advice.

We're both worried about the bees. If you haven't heard about the whole bee situation, also known as 'Beemageddon', educate yourself. We're losing bees! Apparently it's due to fungicides and pesticides that are infecting the hives. I blame Monsanto.

I made this meme for Jordan and myself.
It sits at our desks reminding us of the bees.
I've become violently obsessed with Ben Harper. I've always had his music but I've never really sat down and listened to a whole set before. Holy balls. I like him. And his music. And his words. He says a lot of good words. I bet he's a super nice guy too. You just know. Him and like, Jack Johnson. Just making everyone else feel like assholes while they live the shit out of life.

I feel like I haven't written a positive paragraph yet. The Ben Harper one was positive for a second. Then I crushed it. Hey guess what I did on the weekend? Spent 12 hours at Revolver Upstairs. If you're not aware of Revolver, it's a nightclub that is open all weekend and doesn't shut. Oh yeah. Sticky floors. Crazy people everywhere. Girls demolished in the bathrooms just lying in their own self pity on the floor. It was awesome. The music was freaking sweet. We had friends come down from Sydney for it because their crew were special guest DJs. Long story short, I enjoyed sleeping on Monday. A lot.

I think about half the people on my various social media platforms are all overseas. I hate all those people.

So I've been thinking about doing Yin Yoga teacher training. I mean, I've been thinking about it for two days. I think it'd be pretty bad ass. Then I could just recover the shit out of everything, and teach people how to go into awful poses that make you feel so good at the same time. Because I'm a giver. Not really. I just would love to have that knowledge. And maybe I could infiltrate crossfit boxes and spread the stretchy goodness to all. Even if my hamstrings are the most inflexible things ever. I don't think people would mind. And if they did mind, then they probably didn't like me in the first place. Because not liking someone due to their poor hamstring flexibility is pretty harsh. I'm working on it. Jeeze.

In conclusion. I'm glad it's Friday. I think we'll have lamb for dinner. BOOM. If that's not a positive thought I don't know what is. Oh and then what happens? A bug flies into my eye. Seriously not even kidding. I try to radiate love and positivity and what do I get? A tiny bug making its life's mission to fly directly into my eye ball. I'm sitting in my living room. We don't even have bugs outside of the house let alone inside.

Uhhh. I want nachos.
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