pickles and puppies.

There's something unsettling about a grown man walking around eating a lollipop. I find it highly disturbing. And it wasn't even a good looking lollipop. It was one of those cheap ones you get at the doctor's office... and I bet it was cherry flavoured. Ugh.

It's my birthday on Thursday. I'm turning 21. It's the age I've been wanting to turn for some time now. It just sounds that little bit older. Kind of like business on top and party on the bottom. Because I'll still get away with stuff. Like saying doodle. And cray cray. Why did I say party on the bottom? That sounds kind of rude. Oh well.
Here's my list of things I wouldn't mind as birthday presents:
1 - Olympic lifting shoes
2 - A puppy
3 - A puppy (oh wait, I already said that..)
4 - A pu.. hmmm.. a bike helmet
5 - A cake
6 - To meet Joe Rogan

Okay. I know those sound pretty unrealistic. So here are my other options:
1 - Olympic lifting shoes (that's actually legit)
2 - A picture of a puppy
3 - A bike helmet (again, legit.. but it's kind of a lame request right?)
4 - A cake... okay, fine, a paleo cake. Which I guess I'LL be making because I can't imagine Rob baking my little piglets playing in mud cake for me. Birthday ruined. Just kidding. Pretty sure I could make a bad ass birthday cake and bring it to work and become the coolest kid on campus.
5 - Get one step closer to meeting Joe Rogan. Maybe through alpha brain. Or hemp force. Or twitter. Or a deathsquad t-shirt.

In conclusion, my birthday is going to be awesome. Mostly because of the food I'm going to consume. I'm going to Vue De Monde with my parents and Rob. Holy balls it's going to be amazing. Apparently it's the best restaurant in Melbourne. I wonder if they'll make me a piglet cake?

Oh. I want a piglet too.

Hey here's a fun fact. I did chest to bar pull ups the other day. They weren't very pretty, but I did get chest to bar. I had to kip the pull up, then do another mini kip to get my chest up high enough to touch. I'm sure it looked hilarious. I was pretty excited that I could actually do the last CrossFit Games Open WOD. Guess what I came in the world overall? 22,324th. That by far, is the worst placing I have ever gotten. Ever. In Australia I came 1,683rd. Slightly better. But still. Lindsay came 36th in Australia. Placing that high is almost unfathomable to me. Me meeting Joe Rogan is more likely. Except I don't think I'm really disappointed by that figure.

I think I have a serious bruising problem. I did crow pose two weekends ago, and my bruises are JUST healing from that. It's actually ridiculous. I need to get blood tests done because my arms looked out of control. And everyone at work was like "what the fuck happened to your arms! Bloody crossfit!!" And then shock horror, it wasn't crossfit, it was yoga. I've decided yoga shouldn't leave you with bruises, so I'm going to investigate my abnormal bruising. That means blood tests. And a doctor. A western doctor. Eww. I'm so anti-western medicine ever since going to my Chinese medicine practitioner. He's basically my life coach. I told him that today. He laughed at me. I was being serious :-/

crow pose aftermath. 
I've decided my life needs to revolve around blogging, paleo food and crossfit. Somehow, I must merge them all together in a successful format. Any ideas would be appreciated.

I bought a jar of pickles the other day. I don't even know why that's noteworthy, but for some reason I have this yearning to share that with you. I love pickles. I want to try these Grillo's Pickles from Boston I keep hearing Joe Rogan talk about. I wonder how much it would cost to ship pickles from Boston to Melbourne. I think I just came up with another birthday present idea!

I made paleo hot cross buns the other day for easter. Woah nelly. They definitely weren't hot cross buns. But they were a delicious substitute for something muffin-like with raisins and chocolate. I've become okay with the fact that whenever something says "paleo" in front of it, it probably isn't going to turn out anything like what it's supposed to be imitating. I have a recipe I'm going to try for paleo twix bars. I think it kind of defeats the purpose of paleo when we're creating twix bars out of dates and nuts. But at the same time, I want twix bars. And I want them in a more health conscious form. Don't judge me.
paleo hot cross buns (not really) with grass fed butter.
We went to an easter dinner at a friend's house that weekend too. That was when I whipped out crow pose. The story is that Taiki, a friend of ours, is a yoga teacher. I asked him to teach me some crazy ass yoga poses and then shit got real. We ended up just trying to do tricky yoga poses and squats against the wall the whole night. We even did a push up competition. I did not win. Jordan did TWO push ups though which was pretty amazing considering like a week before that she had told me that push ups were impossible for her. So bad ass. I love achievements like that. I made her a meme to celebrate.

what happens when you party with crazy people...
Lindsay went from crow into handstand, I just decided to hang out in crow.
Taiki's mobility. Out of control.
I had a dream last night that Rob was married to someone else, and was cooking dinner for them and wearing an apron. What does that mean? Alpha brain makes my mind go crazy when I'm dreaming. It's kind of cool though. Lucid dreaming is way better than regular dreaming. I remember so much more detail. Like Rob wearing an apron. I love that I now have that visual in my mind forever. Moohaha.

I've become obsessed with this app called Vine. If you haven't heard of it, I'm about to blow your mind. I've been telling everyone about it since I only just discovered it last week. It's ridonky. It's like instagram, but instead you're posting 6 second video clips. Yeah I know. You're losing your shit right now aren't you? I've already posted about a week's worth of videos. Some may involve ass shaking. Others may involve eating eggs. It's riveting. I'm trying to develop my skills. It's coming along slowly. Man I'm sweaty right now. And I'm not even watching cops. It's our leather couch. It makes you real hot. I just drank sleepy time tea and can feel the effects kicking in. Yawning. Drowsiness. An urge to curl up into the foetal position. Damn you sleepy time tea and your vanilla voodoo!

I'm going to sleep now. Lucid dreams of pickles and puppies awaits me.

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