it's times like these...

This day last year I broke my neck. I fell off of the pull up bar and fractured my C7 and T3, and then wore a neck brace (which made me look bangin' by the way) for four months straight. Ah memories. So, in celebration of my one year anniversary with my tumultuous relationship with the pull up bar, I was determined to get my kipping pull ups.

I find that CrossFit and really any exercise in general, is more mental than anything. We tell ourselves "it's too heavy", or "I'm too tired", or "I'm not strong enough". I like to say all of those things to myself. It's super helpful during a WOD. And by super helpful I mean freaking annoying. I'm really good at talking myself out of anything. I'd love to know what I'd be capable of if I could just tell my brain to shut the hell up while I work out. It would totally respond to that too by the way. Not really. But you get my point. Anyway. We did this long ass WOD today at Charge CrossFit. It was 40 minutes of various things such as muscle ups (they're on my list of things to be able to do... along with the other gajillion movements that I suck at), double unders, hang power cleans, hang power snatch, front squats, jerk, running, lateral barbell burpees and yeah, basically all jumbled together in a series of AMRAPs. The WOD was pretty fun, the burpees sucked big time, but I guess burpees suck all the time so that's nothing new. But afterwards we were all just rolling out and I decided to have a play around on the pull up bar. With a bit of coaching and encouragement, I managed to get out a few kipping pull ups. Chin over bar. Unassisted. Awesomeness.


Probably one of the greatest moments of my life. And then of course I kept trying to do more and everyone was like "okay, that's enough, stop now". Fair enough. Imagine if I fell off again. That would only be sightly hilarious. So I pretty much willed myself to get my chin over the bar. Now I just need to get the muscles. Gotta get strong. Strict pull ups, please become my friend.

My CrossFit gym is kind of in the ghetto. I mean, it's Collingwood. One minute you're drinking $8 coffee and the next you're dealing with domestics on the sidewalk. Basically you've gotta have some street smarts. Rule number one. Look at the ground when you walk or run. The other day we were doing 200m runs and I had to side step a syringe. Lovely. Then a few days later I was working out, and we were running down the street and there was a used tampon on the ground. I'm sorry, but that is never okay. Like, ever. Plus, why does it always have to be on the street that I'm constantly running down? Life is so hard for me.

I'm joking by the way. If you haven't gotten my sense of humour by now, my posts must be very confusing and weird for you. Don't worry. Just remember, I'm awesome.

You probably didn't get that either. Uhhh. Moving on.

I made my own version of paleo chocolate chip cookies this week. And they were ridonky. In my mouth, all the time, I want them. Plus, I washed them down with a glass of raw milk. Guhhhhhh. Raw milk is the bomb. And then the combo of that with cookies makes me want to lose my mind in some form of delicious overload resulting in a coma where I roll myself in a pile of cookies (yes, I'm aware this is similar to the bear food coma analogy I have used before). Anyway, I decided to use coconut flour for this recipe. Coconut flour can be kind of tricky because it absorbs a lot of liquid. But they actually turned out pretty much perfect consistency wise. Here's what I did.
I added about a 1/4 cup of pecans and a 1/4 cup of almonds (just do whatever nuts you like... you all totally just thought about that in a dirty way. Filth.) into a food processor. I blended those bad boys until they got chunky, and then added about 5 dates to the mix. After blending again, I put in a handful of shredded coconut, 4 heaped tablespoons of coconut flour, two tablespoons of raw cacao powder, a 1/4 teaspoon of baking powder, a 1/4 teaspoon of bi-carb soda and two eggs. Then, blend away! Add coconut oil as you go along to get the right consistency, it should be moist but it'll ball up nice and doughy. Then I added a teaspoon of honey, some chopped up loving earth raw chocolate and quickly blended it to mix it all through. Then, I just scooped out the dough, placed them in cookie sizes on a baking tray, sprinkled cinnamon and salt on top (the salt makes it!) and popped them in the oven at 170 degrees fan forced for about 7 minutes. Once the edges are brown take them out, they cook pretty fast. They also get eaten pretty fast. There's only one lonesome cookie left out of the batch that I cooked on Thursday. And I don't think Rob knows that it's still alive. Or else he would have eaten it by now. Maybe I won't tell him. Or at least eat it before he reads this blog post. Moohaha.

Yeah, they were all warm and gooey too.
Then I made bad ass fluffy coconut flour pancakes. 
We did a complex on Thursday at CF. Complexes are where you do a series of lifts, and you're not allowed to let go of the bar or rest it on the ground until you've finished the sequence. It sucks. But it's awesome for grip strength and finding out what you suck at. Apparently that day I sucked at power cleans and push press. The WOD was 35 minutes of as heavy as possible for as many rounds as possible. The complex was 3 deadlifts, 3 power cleans, 3 front squats and 3 presses (could be strict press, push press or push jerk). It was hard, and my collarbone got freaking demolished. I didn't realise at the time, I mean it was sore, but not that bad. Until I got home and looked in the mirror. The right side of my collarbone was literally double its size. Somebody wasn't racking the bar on their shoulders... oops. In my defence, I was tired. That's a terrible excuse. You should not let me get away with things like that. Well I didn't really because I've been walking around with big ass bruises on my collarbone for two days now and I've been questioned about my fancy new bruises. I added in fancy. No one has called them fancy. One of my friends cringed when she saw me. She looked at my face, then looked at my bruises, cringed and then turned her face away in disgust. I've been trying to convince her to come to CrossFit with me. Again, failing. Miserably.

Oh hey bruises. P.s. what's with my right
trap being way bigger than my left?
I was just listening to Dancing in the Dark by Bruce Springsteen. That song is amazing. It just makes you want to dance in so many awful ways at once. I love it. Then I watched the video clip. Springsteen's got all the moves. He is bad ass in his black suspenders and headband. White 80's dancing. I dabble in it in my kitchen. And in the club. Or should I say "da club". No. No one ever should say "da club". Plus, I don't actually go to clubs. I can't even remember the last time I properly went out. Whatever that means. "Properly". AKA got stupidly drunk and shit got cray. Probably November. When I decided not to drink for a while (Christmas to be exact). Well I had a cider at lunch. Post-WOD refreshments. What a terrible idea. My body must be so confused all the time. I'm sorry body. It feels like I'm always apologising to you. Oh well, it'll forgive me, it always does.

Post-WOD lunch.
I did another float tank session this week. It was way better this time around. I got into this super deep meditative state (not really sure what it was but let's just call it that for now), and then all of a sudden I'd come back to reality and feel like I was being jolted awake or something. So I'd kind of splash around in the tank by accident. It was pretty awesome. I tried to get all existential and think about the meaning of reality and life and what reality actually is... oh yeah, I got deep. And then I hopped in the tank and pretty much forgot everything. Damn it Bonnie! This is why we can't have nice things!

Speaking of nice things, I broke my second french press this month. I. Am. Ridiculous. And seriously can't have nice things. Rob literally says "no we can't buy that, it's too nice, you'll break it."

Ohh. Well guess what Rob? I just ate that cookie. How do you like me now?

It's times like these where I wish I had more jiu jitsu training...

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