I hate science.

21:06
Woah. It's Christmas, like real soon. I've bought about 15% of my presents. That sucks for me. I want to figure out a paleo gingerbread cookie recipe. I think it'll be delicious. Or delishmas. See what I did there.

Speaking of delishmas. The float tank experience was awesome. What a weird situation the whole thing was. Firstly, you get in what appears to be a space pod. Secondly, you're naked. Thirdly, the water is so salty you feel extremely buoyant and literally just sit there on top of the water. And fourthly, you can't see anything or hear anything. Total mind fuck. At one point I forgot where I was and that I was floating in water, and I have no idea how long that period happened for because I lost all sense of time while I was in there. I thought about the most random stuff, and pretty much just laid back in the water, put my hands behind my head and chilled out. I don't think we give ourselves enough time in a day to just be okay with doing nothing. It's amazing what an hour of floating in water can do to you. Afterwards I was pretty zen'd out. Even when I got in my car to drive home I turned off the radio because I felt like it was corrupting my good float tankin' vibes. I tried to not get annoyed at stupid ass drivers too. It kind of worked. Kind of.

float tanky amazingness.
So Rob and I are going to move in together. Officially anyway. We've basically been living together for months. I pretty much live in a bedroom at the moment. Not cool. I'll tell you what else isn't cool? Applying to rent properties. Dear god that is tedious. And so ridiculous the information you have to give them. And also trying to find a place in general is crazy hard. So I've decided to put it out there every day and to every one I talk to that I am going to be accepted by a property very soon. You know how if you think about something enough and talk about it enough, like the power of declaration, shit gets done? Well this is happening people. We will find a place to live. It will be within the Brunswick East, Fitzroy North, Northcote area. It will have a garage. And a nice kitchen, with a gas stove top. No electric please.

Gibbs and I did this WOD on Friday night. It was a 21-15-9 of deadlifts and pull ups. Actually, before I go into that I need to tell you about that Tuesday. So it was at CF Collingwood and the work out was a 5 x 5 push press, then a 20 minute AMRAP of 400m row, 12 toes to bar, 8 thrusters, 4 chest to bar pull ups. I am not capable of toes to bar. It definitely is the movement of actually swinging on the bar to get my toes up, because I tried to stick my butt out to get my legs up and I got there... almost. So I need to work on that bad boy. Instead I did knees to elbow. Then thrusters I did at 20kg and the chest to bar pull ups I did on a band. Got 4 rounds and 322m on the rower. Long story short, I ripped my hands. On the up side I got real close to my kipping pull ups. Like I'm only off by a few centimetres I reckon. Booyah. But then it's kind of annoying because I get all excited about my pull ups and want to do them every time I'm in the gym, but then I ripped my hands so getting up on the bar does not feel like unicorns and rainbows. Well then what'd you know, Gibbs and I hit up CF on Friday night and it's another pull up WOD. Blurghhhh. I ripped one of my hands again. And bruised my legs with the standard deadlift trail (a row of bruises running from my ankle to above my knee). I swear I don't hold the bar hard against my legs. I just bruise easy. It's not my fault! The next day at work all the girls were like "oh my god what happened to your legs???". And I try to be all casual about it because I'm trying to convince them to come do CF with me, but I definitely put them off it when I come in looking like I fell down a flight of stairs.

Apparently Safeway in Fitzroy is the new hipster hang out spot on a Sunday night. I totally missed the memo about having to wear a beard and putting feathers in my hair. I must've looked like such an idiot.

Oh jeeze I need to tell you about my appointment with my Chinese medicine practitioner. Well he totally threw a spanner in the works for me. And has turned my perfectly sound mind into what is now a swirling tornado of confusion and frustration. My creative writing skills are off the charts. Anyway. So I've been having issues with my legs and this certain muscle soreness I've been getting, plus a couple things going on with my back. So I told him what was happening and he squeezed some points on my feet and found horrendously sore areas that I didn't know existed. Then he showed me what was going on in my body and why I was feeling the way I do. It's my liver. Of course! Why didn't I think of that? If you ever have a problem, it's never actually occurring where you're hurting. I swear to god. So then he says to me "you have a weak liver, you need to eat more carbs." Oh... this is awkward.
"I don't eat grains...".
Then he went on to tell me I'm not eating enough for the amount I'm training, and that I should integrate a little bit of corn and rice back into my diet in small portions. He said that if you have a weak liver, you store your fat around your stomach. So basically I'm not eating grains so I don't get fat, but my liver is weak because I'm not eating grains which could cause me to put on fat. WHAT? I hate science. And all it's sneakiness that I'm not aware of. And opinions. I hate everyone's opinions and justifications for everything. I just want one answer. One solution. Oh hey Bonnie, all you need to do is eat this, this, and that, don't eat this, and you'll be apples. Okay!

It'd be so much easier being ignorant. Dammit. Why am I so smart?

Haha. I couldn't write that with a straight face. Anyway, so now I'm kind of like "well shit, what the hell is going on with me and my freaking body?". It's kind of driving me insane. So I'm trying to eat a little bit of corn and rice, since I don't get gut irritation from those two foods, at least it doesn't make me feel sick when I eat it. But I do get a little paranoid. But no harm in trying it for another week and seeing if there are any differences. I think I just need to listen to my body and what it's craving (I'd also like to call Robb Wolf and ask him about my liver). Not saying I'm going to go eat a cake, as delightful as that sounds, but you know, if I want to eat a ton of carrots or a bunch of soft boiled eggs then I will. Both things I've been really getting into at the moment. My anchovy cravings are gone by the way. It's always something isn't it? Now I want christmas cookies. I don't think my body is really craving that though. It's more my mind. Also, I'm listening to christmas music right now. Don't judge me. It's the rat pack. They are bad ass. If you can sing jingle bells with a cigar in one hand and a drink in the other and sound like that, you are definitely a bad ass.

Dean Martin being awesome.
Oh I got a new PB on my double unders yesterday. Woohoo! We did  5 rounds of 50 double unders and 30 weighted lunges with 16kg kettle bells in each hand. I had my fancy new speed rope that I bought at CF 224. Holy moly I love my skipping rope. I was just warming up and got out 30 du's in a row. No biggie. Actually it was a biggie. I was like "holy santa clause shit that's a new record!". Anyway, the double unders became my friend. Finally. The weighted lunges however... they can go suck it. We had to rack the kettle bells too so that was joyous. The whole thing was crappy. I hate lunges. I feel like I'm abnormally terrible at them. And everyone else I know raves about how much they love them. I hate all those people. My movements in CF generally go from hate to love though. So I'm sure eventually, one day, I will love you lunges. But for now, you are the devil. We also found our max box jump height. I got 87cm. It was fun. I felt super springy. Today I don't feel so springy. My butt hurts. And my legs. Mostly my butt though. Which is good because it means I actually used my glutes. They like to not do work. But I did some talking to them and now they're pulling their weight. I was like "hey ass, come on now. Don't be a jerk. Fire up and get going, we got shit to do". I think they listened to me. Are you totally shaking your head right now and thinking, why am I reading a story about a crazy lady talking to her butt? Because if you're not, then you're weird. And you probably talk to your butt too. Caught out. It's okay. I understand, obviously. And I've gotten results. So if you need to pep talk your muscles, go for it. Maybe do it in the privacy of your own home or telepathically. Just so other people don't think you're a weirdo. I also did hot yoga this morning to help with my muscle soreness. Hopefully in exchange for me sweating out 7 litres during the practice my body rewards me with the ability to walk properly tomorrow. Somehow I feel doubtful.


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