good one.

10:45
I went for a run yesterday. It was shit. I came back and burst into tears. Good one.
I don't usually cry after working out. But I think yesterday was an exception because I haven't done exercise for quite some time and so I just feel really weak physically and mentally. It's sort of a strange thing my relationship with exercise. I love it, I love the way it makes me feel, I love the people I surround myself with when I work out and it just is an awesome thing to do in life. But at the same time, I have these apprehensions about exercise, like the lingering threat of failure and embarrassment. And sometimes that threat will cast this dark shadow over everything and I get into a completely wrong head space. The whole time I was running I just kept thinking "you can't do this". And then it was a battle between "you can do this" and "you can't do this". Pretty obvious which one won. Anyway, then I felt like a failure, and came home... and then cried. So good at life right now.

I'm home by the way. It's weird. I went to Harvest Festival on Sunday. Sweet zombie jesus it was good. Beck and Sigur Ros were definitely the highlights. Beck looks really young. Like oddly young. He's 42. He could easily pass for 30. Surely musicians like Beck do not age well. He doesn't seem like the type who would get plastic surgery. Of course that assumption is purely from my assessment of Beck as a human being through how he performed on stage. Probably not the best way to judge a person. Oh well, he was freaking amazing. And he had this crazy light show going on. I think I busted out some pretty bad ass dance moves too. And by bad ass I mean we must never speak of it again. Then Sigur Ros came on. Woah. Sigur Ros is my favourite band. I've been wanting to see them play for years. They did not disappoint. Jonsi was playing his guitar with a cello bow, they had an awesome visual going on in the background and the sound was incredible. I have this unconditional love for their music. Will not forget that night.

welcome home hugs.
harvest.
Sigur Ros.

A friend of mine sent me this photo just out of the blue. It made me smile. I want a Cheshire Cat to say things like that to me.



So what to do now that I'm home? The ultimate question. Not really sure to be honest. I really want to focus on my crossfitting and running. I'm going to start doing intermittent fasting as well. What is that you might ask? Basically it's where you only have a short designated window of time where you can eat, and apart from that time you have to fast. Robb Wolf talks about it a bit, but he says you have to be completely stress free or else you'll just wear yourself out too much. Pretty sure I have the least amount of stress ever. David Asprey is the guy that got me onto it even more so though. I guess you could call him a bio-hacker. He is constantly searching for the best ways to enhance his brain and body functionality through diet, exercise and supplementations. He sells this coffee that he sources from Guatemala, because most coffee beans through the way they are processed end up containing high levels of mycotoxins, he promotes selling these special coffee beans that are mycotoxin free. Anyway, I bought some and am going to try out his intermittent fasting program. Pretty much it'll work like this - between 2pm and 8pm I can eat as much food as I want, as long as it's strict paleo. Before 2pm I can drink the coffee and add grassfed butter to it for the fat intake. So hopefully I won't go into super bitch mode during the fasting time, or else everybody will start to hate me and along with being hungry I'll have no friends. But from my research IF (intermittent fasting) produces benefits such as increased longevity, increased insulin sensitivity, stronger mental clarity and stronger resistance to stress. So I'm going to start the ol' IF as soon as I get a coffee bean grinder. Which should be soon. Hopefully. 

Here's some photos from my trip that I never got to show you guys at the time. Enjoy.

5th Ave, Playa Del Carmen, Mexico.
Alberta, Canada
Balancing Rock, Moab, Utah. 
Moab, Utah. 
Salt Lake City, Utah. 
Moab, Utah.
Vancouver, Canada.
Vancouver, Canada.
Capilano Suspension Bridge, Vancouver, Canada.
Denali, Alaska. 
Lake Louise, Alberta, Canada.
Peyto Lake, Alberta, Canada. 
Alberta, Canada. 
Tulum, Mexico.
This guy... 
Rob driving some car. Apparently it's a big deal.
Golden Gate Bridge, San Francisco.
Oregon, USA. 
Oregon, USA.
Yellowstone National Park, Wyoming.
Yellowstone National Park, Wyoming. 
Balancing Rock, Moab, Utah.
Delicate Arch, Moab, Utah.
Delicate Arch, Moab, Utah. 
Moab, Utah. 
North Rim, Grand Canyon.


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