back from the dead.

Ok so I know what you're thinking. Yes I haven't blogged since June 15 and no I have no excuses apart from the fact that I have moved house and am drinking again. Mostly the drinking is to blame. But in all seriousness, I have a butt load to tell you. So to start off I'll go back to where I last left you.

Yeah that whole 30 days strict thing lasted about 23. Again, I don't have any excuse but I will tell you this - after spending a whole day at Ikea, and then putting together furniture with a freaking allen key, which then made me start saying things like elga, boksel and malm... that my friends pushed me over the edge. Cider was needed. It was glorious. End of story.

Damn you Grace Darling for your tasty ciders
and warm interior.
Or is it? Well kind of. I still remained strict with my food, but alcohol the sneaky devil always seems to be able to creep back in and take me to new and exciting places. And by new and exciting I mean feral and drunk. That Friday night I decided drinking my bottle of patron tequila would be a splendid idea. Oh and no we didn't have shot glasses, so I just guessed the shot amount and poured it into a standard drinking glass. Classy. Also, this was around 7:30pm. And I was drinking with my friend Jonathon, who is big and muscly and can hold his liquor 'til the cows come home. Myself on the other hand, cannot. It was within a window of about 2 hours where I drank a lot of tequila, got to the Napier, had one pint of cider, and then woke up in bed. Yeah, confusing to say the least. You know that awkward moment when you wake up and you can't remember anything. That was me. The last thing I could recall was talking to the bartenders. And then I had this moment of complete panic that I had been kicked out of the pub and that I could never return due to my drunken behaviour. I was reassured that this did not happen and instead half way through my meal of kangaroo, which I was talking about all day and was super freaking excited to eat (no, I don't remember eating it which is probably the worst thing out of all of this), I decided I wanted to go home. I then was lead back home, which on my way resulted in me walking into a parked car. The next morning I was given a lot of shit (well deserved) and received messages like "remember the time you used my shirt as a napkin and wiped your mouth on my shoulder?" :-/ Now in my defence, I don't normally get so ridiculously drunk that I don't remember the night and use people as my napkins. But apparently that's what happens when you drink tequila after not drinking for over 3 weeks. And don't eat. Rookie's mistake. And yes, I was hungover as fuck the next day, if that's any consolation.

I've been trying to get out and do more classes on top of my crossfitting. I did Bikram Yoga last week. What the hell is that? I'll tell you what it is. It's sweaty, practically naked people, practising yoga in a carpeted room with some lady telling you to "place your exact forehead on your exact knee". What does that even mean? Normally I find yoga quite calming, even if it's a freaking intense practise where my body is shaking and I'm dripping with sweat, but this was just a whole other level. The heat was fine, I could handle that, it was actually quite nice. But the constant talking and telling me to "push back, further back, harder back, more back, back, back, back" really just made me want to strangle myself with my sweaty towel. Also, I was told "you should feel an intense pain" during some of the poses. Hmm not sure putting myself into intense pain is the best thing for my body lady. Plus any time I was in a pose where my head was hanging down towards the floor, sweat would roll into my eye, and then I would be blinded and trying not to look like a pirate while squinting one eye and holding a ridiculous pose. Basically, I looked awesome. I will not be doing bikram yoga again.

Then I went and did pole fit, also known as pole dancing classes. Linds and I preferred the pole fit class over the bikram yoga for sure. Firstly we had a hot as teacher. Definitely was girl crushing on her. Secondly, I have a much higher appreciation for strippers now. Pole fit is freaking hard. You have to be crazy strong, have thighs of steel and look freaking good while doing tricky shit on a pole. I could tick none of those boxes. I could climb the pole and do these little kitten kicks and that was about it. At one point she tried to get us to wrap our legs around the pole as if we were sitting on a chair and were just crossing our legs, yeah that doesn't feel good at all. Literally was like someone was ripping the skin off of my thighs. It was a really great core work out though, and I'd go back just to creep on the teacher again. Not weird at all...

Anyway, on Saturday I did a spin class. Let me just give you a little background on my relationship with bikes. I don't have one. I did a spin class about 5 years ago, and was scarred for life. Never again. Until now. We just took on two new ambassadors from The Spin Room in Fitzroy, Sam and Sarah. They are really awesome and I knew they would totally kick my ass. I had been trying to put off going to the studio because I was that scared of doing the class. Anyway, Sam reassured me when I got there (I greeted him with "Hey! I'm shitting myself.") that I could just take it easy and that he didn't want me to go into cardiac arrest the first time around. Wishful thinking Sam. Sarah took the class, it was a women's only so it was a little more relaxed... I feel like relaxed is the wrong word to use because it was not relaxing at all. But anyway. It was 45 minutes of pain. My thighs were about to fall off. I literally met the recommended RPM about three times during the whole class. And then I got off the bike and couldn't lift my legs. I was a mess. It was pretty hilarious really. But the studio is freaking cool and they have great artwork on the walls. I'm only a 5 minute drive from my new place so I don't really have an excuse not to go. Anyway, check it out if you want to die and then be brought back to life stronger and sweatier.

The Spin Room.
Oh hey, I live in Fitzroy North now. Yeah that happened. It's awesome. You know what I've realised though? Food is fucking expensive. Did I miss the memo about food costing ten billion dollars a week? Ridiculous! The funny thing is though that I bought a KitchenAid food processor (it's red!) but don't own a TV. Awkies. I just thought I'd use the food processor more often. It's true as well. I used it three times on the first day I bought it. It's sexy. And processes things. BOOM. I'm going to make a macadamia coffee cake today - I've been craving some sort of cake with coffee in it so I'm going to try and make something that will resemble what I imagine in my head. Plus it's not really a cake since it's paleo but I don't know what else to call it. Anyway, I dreamt about eating crepes the other morning. Then I woke up, and made really thin banana crepes, put my chocolate avocado mousse in it and topped it with blueberries then rolled that baby up and devoured. It was freaking good. Next time I'm going to try to make a breakfast burrito and instead of a tortilla I'll use a really thin omelette. It will need some tweaking probably but we'll get there. Then I can fill it with scrambled eggs, bacon, avocado and salsa. Ughhh. Maybe I'll make that for dinner tonight. How good is breakfast for dinner? I think I've already blogged about brinner but anyway, in conclusion, bacon is good all the time.

Move day. Gotta have my kettle bell!

I look so creepy in this photo. Way too excited.

Remember how I said I don't have a relationship with bikes? Well I bought a bike today. Ha-ha. After I bought it and was driving it home I started panicking and thinking about how I don't want to die on a bike. Plus I haven't ridden one for about 7 years. The one I bought is white with a wicker basket and has a bell! Pretty much the worst bike ever if speed is your thing. Luckily I only have one speed - casual. Just need to remind myself how not to get hit by a car and I'll be good to go!

bikes are cool.
So I've been drinking a lot of long blacks lately. I think I'm getting gut irritation from it. I tested my theory today by not drinking coffee and haven't experienced the acid reflux that I have been getting the past couple of days. This is disappointing because I'm really enjoying coffee now. So I have to go back to drinking tea... But before I went off coffee I tried out Proud Mary in Collingwood. Woah. I thought Melbourne coffee cafes were pretentious enough as it is, but this place is off the charts. The service was really great and the people were super nice. But the whole "coffee experience" is just a bit much. For me at least. You get all these different filters and brews to choose from and they bring it out to you in a stemless glass like it's wine. And then you're told to drink it slowly so you can taste the difference between it being really hot and then when it goes cold. And then you get charged $10. Yeah, I expected to be the best freaking coffee ever. And it wasn't. It was an interesting experience, but I like my coffee uncomplicated and hot. And now I can't have it at all after all that time of trying to get myself to like coffee. Fuck. First world problems really I know. But still.

My pretentious coffee.
Guess what? I'm going to Harvest Festival. And I'm going to see Sigur Ros and it's going to be the best moment ever in my entire life. Oh speaking of awesome moments, I got 5kg up on my deadlift PB for my one rep max. I'm at 72.5kg now. Rehab is going well it seems. I also hopped up on the pull up bar the other day. Everyone in the gym freaked out. I had to tell them all to calm the fuck down. I was on a band anyway so it was assisted. I think I need to learn how to do butterfly pull ups, less chance I will fall off. But surely I wouldn't fall off a pull up bar twice. That just doesn't seem plausible. Anyway, training is going good. I'm also doing this 6 week program that is a 100 push up challenge. Funsies! Not really, but my push ups are the worst and I need to work on them daily. Hence the program. And actually I'm getting better at them! Yay!

P.s. I won't wait three weeks to blog next time. I promise.

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