rip your face off.

You know when you get so angry and annoyed that you want to just rip your face off and reveal the hideous monster that's hiding beneath your human skin? Yeah, that was me today. I was updating my iPhone and then unplugged it while it was updating (like an idiot), and then it crashed and I had to restore it to its original settings and then it told me I could restore it from iTunes so I did that but it wasn't really working so I took it to the "genius" bar where I don't really think they're geniuses but if it makes them feel better then whatever... Anyway, the guy kind of fixed it but then I lost a whole bunch of stuff from November onwards which just pissed me off and made me want to kill everyone in the apple store which is saying something because there are a lot of people in that apple store and it would've been like a huge mass murder. And then I went to Peter Alexander and bought super cosy bed socks which made things better, and then I had to sit in the car and listen to my parents talk about driving routes through Brighton which made me revert back to wanting to rip my face off.

Last night I was riding on the 86 tram heading into Fitzroy after work, and I was coincidentally sitting on the disabled seat. I don't really classify myself as disabled, but I think I have a right to sit on the seat. Anyway, I was about two stops away from getting off, and this morbidly obese lady gets on, points at the sign that says "if someone with special needs requires this seat you are obliged to get up" or whatever, and then points at me to get up. Yeah... I know. Anyway, I let her take my seat but everyone else on the tram just lost their shit and were like "but she has a neck brace!". I don't know when you get to a point where you're so overweight you classify yourself as disabled. But that must suck. I tell you what doesn't suck though, Little Creatures Brewery. Damn that place is cool. I love how industrial and spacious the whole building is. I also love the many many ciders that one can consume there...and their steak. Oh yeah, that whole thing about me trying not to drink. I think I forgot I said that because last night I drank three pints of cider. I know what you're thinking - "well done Bonnie you only drank three pints!". Thank you.

I'm going to make paleo cookies tomorrow, I'm quite excited about this. Also, I decided this morning that I'm no longer having dairy. It's just gotten out of hand, I'm not functioning properly and I blame that sweet sweet milky goodness as the reason for all my problems. Yes, ALL my problems. No but seriously, it's out. No more milk, which means no more coffee or English breakfast tea. And no more cheese... Wahhh. Anyway, I think I can manage as long as someone doesn't present me with a huge wheel of brie or something. On the upside, Mum and I made paleo muesli today which consists of almonds, macadamias, walnuts, cashews, shredded coconut, pumpkin seeds, and some dried fruit (we dried the apples ourselves!). Boom. We roasted it in the oven then bagged it and are going to eat it with coconut milk! Just a little excited. Plus I bought these AWESOME vegetable crackers. They're literally just zucchini, almonds, lemon juice, linseed, parsley, salt and spices. Too bad it costs a million dollars just like every other healthy awesome thing does.

zucchini goodness.

Also, how does one go about dressing up for a 21st party in cocktail attire in a neck brace? Yeah, that's what I'm doing tomorrow, going through my closet to find a dress I can wear that won't make me look like an idiot. Mmmm I have a feeling my chances are not good. At least I can binge on paleo cookies if I start getting depressed. On a side note - tomorrow I'm going to try and make up a new paleo recipe.. baked eggs with chorizo. Yes if you have ever eaten this dish before, it is the fricken bomb. I'm going to try to replicate it but with a twist, then take a photo of it, then devour it. Most of the time on my days off I just eat or plan what I'm going to cook and eat. Yeah... I have a cool life.

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