that's a good neck.

Has anyone else seen this window display on Brunswick Street? I am obsessed with it. Every time I walk past it I just completely lose my shit and then everyone gets embarrassed by me and walks ahead while I stand there for about 2 minutes admiring its beauty. Seriously, brooms, rakes and mops wearing sunglasses! Crazy!
I also enjoy the bride and groom ducks that occupy a furniture store window. But that's another story.

I went to the hospital yesterday. Waited an hour for an 8 minute x-ray, and then waited another hour to see the neurosurgeon for 2 minutes. That shit gets old real fast. Especially when you have to sit there watching Days Of Our Mother Freaking Lives. What a terrible show. Do people even take it seriously? I would much prefer to watch that TV show they had playing last time with the toys that speak in kazoo and creep around that kid's room. Hands down would prefer to watch that. Anyway, the neurosurgeon pretty much said my bones will be 50 per cent healed by the 3 month mark. Which is disappointing because I googled that bones heal within 6-8 weeks and we all know that google is right every time. So I don't know what this chick is on but she must not have gotten the memo that my bones are healed and I should be released from the shackles of my neck brace. Anyway, she said that once it's been three months I'll have to wean myself off the brace. This disappoints me. I don't like the word wean. I also don't like the idea that for that month where I thought I'd be all fancy free and feeling the wind on my neck, I now have to still wear the brace for periods of time so that I don't over do it and my head just falls onto my shoulders like E.T. He has a weird neck doesn't he? I can't really remember E.T., it freaked me out when I first saw it so I decided to block his face out of my memory. But then when I thought about retracting necks his wrinkly image popped up. I hope no other weird or scary suppressed memories come up for me today. E.T. is enough for me to handle right now.

Yeah that's a good neck.
Also, I haven't decided whether I should be offended or pleased by the fact that of all the times I have been on a tram or train with my neck brace on, which is a lot, I have only been asked if I would like a seat about 4 times. On one hand, I'm happy that people think I'm not disabled looking enough to need a seat, but on the other hand I feel like people should get up off their ass to let someone with a neck brace on sit down! It's quite conflicting. Anyway, the times when people have asked if I want to sit down I say no. Maybe I have a "fuck off" vibe that people get when I'm around them to deter them from asking me what happened to my neck or staring at me. Or maybe people are just crap. Either way.

I think I need to lay off the milk. Last night I actually just swigged the milk straight from the carton. Then I wiped away my milk mustache with the back of my hand and afterwards I was like "did I just do that?". 
Yes. Yes I did. 
And it's not even raw milk. So I don't have any real excuse for drinking it apart from the fact that I like the way milk tastes. And I find drinking milk kind of nostalgic... if that makes sense. I love developing emotional attachments to food. Everyone does. I find it really interesting how we do that. My Grandad always says that in our family, we love our bellies. It is true. I was feeling super grumpy and tired and depressed last night, and then he made Burmese pork curry, and afterwards he said to me "you feel better now don't you?". Well of course! I've always been a firm believer in the healing powers of curry... minus the rice bit. That's not very good for you, but the actual curry part is! Anywho, the meal was freaking good. I haven't had a curry cooked by my Pop for about 3 years. It's a momentous occasion really. And Mum and I took my grandparents to the South Melbourne Markets yesterday which was pretty funny. I introduced them to our meat man Tony. I love the markets solely for that reason. Then I went and bought some proper 100% apple cider from the awesome cider guy there. So you know how I posted that cider is paleo friendly, well you have to be aware that some ciders (mostly mainstream - Bulmers, Rekorderlig, Strongbow, etc) are just packed full of sugar and crap. If you go to good liquor stores, or like this place at the markets, you can guarantee the cider is going to be authentic and paleo friendly (apart from the fact that alcohol isn't really paleo at all haha)... and will still get you drunk. So everybody wins!

Getting our cooking on. Well not me for once, I just sat there and got hungry.

Pork Curry. Yeah, you want some.
Drank that Lobo cider in about 2 minutes flat. Concerning? Nah.
I've decided I'm going away for a while. I want to head out of the country end of May for about 4-6 weeks. Still trying to figure out what I'm going to do, but so far the plan is to hit up San Diego first for about 2 weeks, then make my way to Vancouver for the rest of the time. I haven't been to Canada for a very very long time and wouldn't mind checking it out by myself. Europe was on the cards, but it is so god damn expensive and I have like zero dollars right now (literally was on negative money the other day) so I think Canada will be a little more affordable. Plus I'm just planning to live off of cider and ribs the whole time anyway. Oh I hope they drink cider there. Hmm. Need to do more research into this. But I have found ridonculously cheap flights to LA and then I'll just mooch off my family in Cali for a while, and then hit up Vancouver for fun times. I'm not really sure what there is to do in Vancouver around June. All I remember from my trip to Canada back when I was about 5 was seeing massive totem poles, walking on a big narrow swinging bridge, and that everything was green. Not too bad memories if you ask me! I have a billion Canadian friends though so I'm sure they will tell me everything I need to know.

Also, remember how I said I'm going to be complaining about eating non-paleo food because of my grandparents being here. Well we went to Springvale today which is Asian central. My Pop was trying to speak Burmese to people and they were having nothing of it! It was kind of hilarious. But then I ate a pork bun. And that has gluten in it. And then I had pho which wasn't too bad apart from the rice noodles. But yeah, the pork bun went down a treat. Until now. I have a headache. A freaking gluten headache! Also my gut is not agreeing at all with it. And now all of you will hate me for blogging about how sick I am. Ah it's a vicious, yet delicious cycle. Mostly vicious though.

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