lift it the fuck up!

Ok, like an idiot, I completely forgot to blog about making beef jerky! I know, what the hell? I had tri-tip and whipped up our classic Sein family jerky marinade. Which really is not paleo. This is the thing that annoys me so much about beef jerky. It is very difficult to find a paleo marinade. I checked out Robb Wolf's jerky marinade where he uses coconut aminos as the paleo friendly version of soy sauce. I have no idea where to buy this, and I think it's something I might need to order online... yep just looked it up, $20 for a 235ml bottle. Fuck my life. Anyway, I used tamari which is wheat free but still has soy in it. Oh well, you win some you lose some. So it's a base of tamari, wheat free worcestershire sauce, organic tomato sauce (I was lazy and didn't make a paleo tomato sauce so it came out of a bottle), smoke essence, onion powder, garlic powder, ginger powder, celery salt and sea salt. I just do it to taste, sometimes I get it straight away and other times it takes me like 20 minutes to get it right. Luckily I got it right pretty quickly. After it marinaded all day I placed the sliced up beef in the dehydrator and made one layer covered in chili flakes (my favourite), another with szechuan pepper and then a plain batch. I also tried Robb Wolf's marinade which had maple syrup and sage in it, it came out pretty mild but still a nice change to the normal jerky I make. In conclusion, jerky is awesome. And I will buy this coconut aminos and then make the ultimate paleo snack. Even if it will cost me a billion dollars.

So most of you would be aware that it has been raining all day in Melbourne. And of course, I didn't take an umbrella with me when I left the house. I have this thing about umbrellas. They are just fricken annoying. Firstly, if it's raining, it's most likely windy. Then you have to awkwardly try and hold the umbrella at an angle and try to not let it turn inside out and make you look like a complete dick, battling your umbrella on the street. Secondly, people need to learn that when they hold an umbrella, they need to understand that they no longer occupy the same space they do without it. I experienced this this morning. Every Melbournian had their umbrella out and apparently forgot that they were holding an object above their head that could easily poke someone in the face. This frustrates me. Especially because I do not have the ninja like reflexes nor the neck mobility to dodge an umbrella flying into my face. If you are holding an umbrella, hold it high enough so that it is not all up in my grill. I shouldn't have to avoid your umbrella, and if I need to overtake you on the sidewalk I shouldn't have to duck under it to get past you. Also, I cannot physically duck, I have to do a half squat like walk, which is just embarrassing for everyone involved. Lift it the fuck up people!

You know what's awesome, coming home to a freshly baked paleo cake. Yeah, I love you mum. It's things like that, that make me want to stay at home and not move out. On one hand, I have people saying to me to not move out, mooch off my parents as long as I can, and then move out when they pretty much tell me "get the hell out". But on the other hand, people tell me how awesome it is once you become completely independent. Even if it does make you broke. Which I most certainly will be when the time comes for me to move out. I'll probably end up drinking coffee 5 times a day, eating steak at the Napier every second night and having ridiculous amounts of cider weekly... or daily. Either way. I remember when I was still at high school I thought, when I turn 18 I'm totally going to move out and live it up! Hmmm. Not so much the case now. I think it needs to happen. Unless Mum bakes me paleo cakes every week... then I may reconsider. But pretty sure that is very unlikely, so I need to find roommates and a place to live. Ugh, so much to do. I just want to eat my cake. And live in Fitzroy. Perhaps I could bake my own cake AND live in Fitzroy? That seems doable. Hmmm it appears I have cut out the middle man, sorry Mum. I still love you. And you can bring me paleo cake any time you like.

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