a beautiful blur.

Oh hey! Been a while. Last time I blogged I was 19. Seems like so long ago really. Me going out every night since Thursday though probably has altered my brain function too. But that's what you get when you're 20. So since my birthday a lot has happened. And unfortunately I cannot recall everything that occurred during the past few days/nights. It's all a beautiful blur. Which I will now tell you.

Thursday night was great. Firstly, I set myself up to eat two dinners that night. Chicken curry at home, and then gluten free pizza there. Yeah I know I'm awesome. It made a lot of sense though. Because I decided I'd probably have about 2 or 3 pints before the pizza came out and normally that would make me completely ravenous, so instead I'd only be slightly ravenous. This worked a treat. Mel, Maddie and Til came over as well before hand. Maddie was getting the shakes because she was so excited to drink her wine. Not concerning at all. My Dad made chicken spaghetti which we haven't eaten since September because we cooked if for 60 people over two Saturdays and went completely off it for months. So it had its glorious return to our bellies, but there was a bit of a problem. I was planning on cooking my gluten free pasta, but when I came down to the kitchen all the curry was mixed together already. And then, I told Dad that my plan had been ruined, and he responded with this:
"Oh yeah, I saw that gluten free pasta and was thinking about cooking it, but then I didn't know how to."


I know that I can't really get annoyed about this because he did cook dinner and it was awesome. But still. Worst excuse ever. Dad tries to find any loop hole he can to eat non-paleo foods, and this was one of them. I'm reading a book called "Wheat Belly" at the moment that's all about the problems of modern wheat and the abundance of health issues that it has created. I'm planning on giving him some elaborate lectures, every day, forever. Enjoy that Dad... then you will learn how to cook gluten free pasta.

Anyway, we hit up Lucky Coq and kind of had a high school reunion, and I only spent $5 the entire time we were there. Yeah, pretty amazing. Also, the bartender gave me that drink for only $5 because of my neck brace. Finally I'm getting some proper use out of this thing! The whole night we literally talked about sex and porn. Not even joking. You can imagine how classy the evening was. Off the charts classy. Yeah, now that I'm 20 I have a feeling I've gotten more feral.

Friday I pulled up like a boss (must be the age thing..) and caught up with a friend for lunch. We went to this place called Moat on Little Lonsdale. I almost feel reluctant writing about it because it is so god damn cool, but then I remembered that most of my readers are probably from Russia and the Czech Republic so I guess it's ok. This place is semi-underground, and tucked away very cosily. You are surrounded by books, old tea sets and an eclectic mix of furniture and just random stuff you'd find in your own home. Sometimes I feel like majority of Melbourne's restaurants and bars are just filled with pretentious pricks and that just makes me really disappointed. So to find this place, and eat the freaking amazing food, AND get great service without the classic snobbery that normally follows, was very refreshing. I had the Canadian scallop kebab wrapped in pancetta with an apple dressing and black fermented garlic. Yeah, if you're not dying right now, you should be. That meal pretty much sums up the rest of the menu. I will be going back very, very soon. However, upon reflection, I should've eaten something a bit more substantial than scallops. Because that night, I was... well, I'm trying to think of a word to describe it other than drunk but nothing is coming to me so we'll just go with that.

Yeah, amazing.

My friend Adrianna had her art exhibition on that night, it was amazing and really inspiring. There were so many people there and I had already had about 4 pints of cider leading up to that. The next day I was trying to pin point when things got bad, and I think drinking those 4 ciders after only eating three scallops was probably not the best idea I've ever had. Anyway, apparently I was really drunk when I got there. Pffft. I thought I was fine. But no one will agree with me so I guess I have to listen to the 20 people that confirmed my drunken state. Awkward. You know what's really frustrating too, there was this HUGE wheel of cheese there, and I only ate one little slice of it. What the shit! I'm surprised I didn't just stand by the cheese the whole night. I'm kind of impressed that I didn't do that. Bad enough I was drunk, would've been really quite embarrassing if I had eaten that whole wheel of cheese. After the exhibition we went and had Thai food, and I got rice all over the place. I don't know why out of everything, I remember that so vividly. Then, after Thai food we went to the Black Pearl which is super classy, they even have this hanging fruit bowl by the bar which I accidentally bumped and the bartender got a little angry at me. In my defence, don't have a hanging fruit bowl by a bar. It was fake fruit, and hanging precariously anyway. Stupid idea. I sobered up pretty well there though, I believe the term describing my intoxication that night was like "night and day" from the exhibition to the pearl. Anyway, the next day I woke up and once again, had no hangover! I'm turning into a seasoned drinker. I say that with so much pride, it's a little disconcerting.

Then Saturday night came around very quickly. Round three. Started off with dinner with a few friends at the Napier. I don't care what anyone says, the Napier is the bomb, even if it is just a pub. Also, the nice bartender there recognises me now (not that hard to forget the neck brace girl) so that's good. Then, we headed to Polly Bar. My friend Swissy had his birthday that day so we all met up to celebrate that. Of course I drank espresso martinis all night. But then I got introduced to another drink called Kermit's Cocaine. Ugh. Why do people keep introducing me to awesome expensive drinks? And why do I keep buying them??? This drink had absinthe in it. Enough said. I alternated between the two drinks the whole night. Yeah, bad idea. I also like to buy other people drinks, which I'm now thinking I shouldn't be advertising over my blog... Hmm. Too late now. So yes, I enjoy buying other people drinks, which at Polly's is not the most sensible thing to do, if you want to keep some money in your bank account. Obviously I don't think about this at the time. And when it's 3am, shouting someone a drink seems like the best idea ever. Well Sunday morning I looked at my transactions from the night before. I saw that I had spent $170, and then proceeded to face palm myself. Also, I thought I felt pretty good that morning, but my hangover progressively got worse as the day went by. That's never happened to me before, I blame the absinthe. I had ribs for lunch though which went down very well, although I did have to eat it in two sessions because my appetite wasn't totally there. But I got it done. Then would you believe it, I went back up to Fitzroy to the Rose Hotel for cider and steak. And the bartender there recognised me. Note: I have never been to the Rose Hotel before. She said to me "you look pretty perky for someone who was drinking that green shit all night!". Kermit's Cocaine by the way is bright green. Anyway, I thought this was hilarious. I really should try and get good connections with bartenders while I've still got the brace on. I've only got 16 days left with it, need to get on that!

So something I've noticed since being 20, is how much coffee I'm now drinking. It's really strange and completely random but I've had a coffee almost every day since my birthday on Wednesday. Seriously! I don't know what's going on, but for someone who just doesn't drink coffee, to now be drinking it almost daily, is more concerning to me than the alcohol consumption.

Apparently I'm really cool now...
I kind of felt like I was getting blogger's block this past week. I had a read through my first few posts when I began this whole thing. I've gotten really cynical. And I think my tone has changed a lot since I first started writing. I like to talk about killing people a lot more now. And also drinking. It's like a really slow demise that everyone probably noticed apart from me. Until now. Oh well. That's what you get for wearing a neck brace and having a quarter life crisis.

Oh you know how I said I want to be an English teacher now? Well the coordinator lady got back to me about the whole maths issue. She said that I could do a 13 week short course online called "dealing with numbers" that would guarantee me a spot in the course for next year. I looked up this course, not good. Apparently I'll be learning basic numeracy skills including percentages, proportions and fractions (I can't do fractions at all..), percentage change and negative numbers, basic algebra, introduction to summation notation (what the shit?), basic graphs and producing and interpreting tables. GOOD. Because I don't know how to do any of that apart from maybe proportions because I cook a lot. Fuck my life. And guess what, it costs fucking $700. Who pays $700 for maths? NO ONE. My Mum thinks I should go to film school and my Dad wants me to go to the career's expo next month. I almost bought a book the other day called "So what's your major?". Yeah, I really don't want to become one of those people who buy books that have titles like that. Ever.

story of my life.

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