move bitch!

So normally I wait a couple of days for funny shit to happen to me so that I can blog, but I was lying in bed as you do when you have nothing to do AT ALL and decided there is actually a lot of little random things I have to talk about.

Firstly, you know how at the train station when it's like 8:30 in the morning and everyone is pretty much going in one direction which is into the city? Well I had a work meeting the other day and I was heading back into Brighton away from the city during peak hour pedestrian traffic. Now I'm an aggressive walker. Even with a neck brace on, I walk fast, I don't dawdle and I most certainly do not take up the whole god damn side walk. I also won't move if you are walking on the wrong side of the sidewalk, or if you're walking with a group of like 5 people and you're all taking up the whole pathway. I will actually run into you. And I hate it when you get stuck behind a slow person and you go to over take them but then they're really unpredictable in the direction they're going so they block you off and it takes like 2 minutes to get around them. Yeah, that makes me want to kill you. I don't know why I get so aggressive with walking, but I just do. And I tell you what else is fucking annoying, when people just hang out in the middle of a sidewalk to have a chat. Are you serious? Move to the side or I will run you down. Anyway. So I'm just about to head down the stairs into Parliament station, and there's just this wall of people coming towards me. So I do the smart thing and move all the way to the left by the hand rail to make it easier for everyone else, and people are smart so they understand that they can take up the other 98 per cent of the stairs, and I can take up that tiny little section next to the railing. Well apparently not everyone got this. So I'm half way down the stairs and there's this woman probably around her 60's who is heading up coming directly at me. Now I'm expecting her to move. So I stick my ground and as I get closer and closer I keep thinking "any second now...". Well, bitch didn't move! Seriously, I have a neck brace on and am the only person coming down the stairs...I shouldn't have to move!!! Honestly, I wanted to do work on this lady but refrained and went to pilates instead. Bust still. What the fuck.

Also, since I have way too much time on my hands I do stupid crap like eat minced meat that's 5 days past its used by date. I really wanted to make meatballs and realized the meat wasn't at its prime so to speak, but it smelled fine and looked okay and I know that the used by date is a load of crap anyway so I went with my gut and cooked it. The meatballs were pretty yum, I made paleo tomato sauce to go with, but then I felt really shitty. And then I vomited. Oops. I still think it wasn't the meat. I've had a really emotional and stressful week, and I think it has all just caught up with me and made me physically ill. Throwing up from first world problems. Brilliant.

The mysterious meatballs.

Anyway, so as I said, I do a lot of weird things when I'm home alone and have nothing to do. I googled how to live in a Buddhist monastery. And then went on the lonely planet website and tried to pick a place that I most want to travel to, I still can't decide. I think it'll end up being Asia though. Anyway, don't know when that will be considering I'm broke as fuck. Which then leads me to my online shopping that I did today, I was very close to buying a $150 cape, but then decided that I really do have enough capes and also I can't afford it. But I did buy a couple of accessories that cost me like $30 so I thought that was ok. I used to have a really bad online shopping problem. Like really bad. But now that I have the neck brace I find shopping kind of depressing because I can't really wear anything but loose clothes. So I just gave up on that. I then took a turn for the worst and googled how long it takes fractured vertebrae to heal because I was thinking how bad it would be if I took my neck brace off at the 2 month mark which is on Saturday. I've decided it wouldn't be that bad, apparently bones take 6 - 8 weeks to heal. So really I would be ok. But I know that everyone would just lose their shit if I took it off so I guess I should keep it on. But still. It is tempting. Oh I probably should mention, last night my jumper got stuck on my brace and it took me about 5 minutes to blindly try and negotiate it out of the deathly grips of my plastic contraption. Hence why I was taking medical advice from the internet.

Oh and while I was on lonely planet, apparently Iceland and the city Reykjavik won the people's choice for best country and best city. Way to represent Iceland! See I knew I was onto something when I went there back in 2010. And I tried to convince people that it would be awesome but everyone thought it was just random and a waste of money. Well I don't want to say I told you so but... suck it.

Maybe I should just move to Iceland.

I think I'm going to make a paleo cake this week. I need to binge but really don't want to feel sick or fat from eating actual cake, so I will go to the effort to make my own special paleo cake, and then eat it all by myself... I can do that right?

I really need to get out of the house more often. Having minimal responsibilities is starting to become a real problem. Maybe I should get a gold fish or something. Or create a roster to do things like "get out of pajamas today", "eat three proper meals" and "have contact with another human being apart from Mum and Dad". Yeah... that's depressing. Fuck my life.

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