Is that Jason Khalipa?

So you know how it's been really hot and muggy lately? Yeah, that's gotta stop. I really can't deal with anymore humidity in this neck brace or I think I'm going to just completely lose my shit and kill the next person that says to me "Oh what have you done to yourself?". What the fuck kind of question is that anyway? I didn't do it on purpose you wank. Ugh. Sorry. I had one of those days where I was really itchy and just wanted my chopstick but instead I had to deal with a lady who couldn't contain herself and laughed in my face at my neck brace. And it wasn't just a giggle, it was almost to the point of hysterics where she couldn't actually talk to me. Now me of all people understand that this brace is quite hilarious, but when all I can feel is the huge plastic clips digging into my rib cage and how badly I just want to scratch the shit out of my neck, if you laugh in my face, I will not be kind. Lucky for her she was leaving and then I was a bitch to the next lady. I felt bad she had to cop it, so I was nice to her. But still, I feel like I just want to punch someone in the face. I'm really not a violent person, I swear.

So after my little moment/day of hatred I was able to let off some steam Friday night by drinking lots and lots of cider. It was brilliant. There was a huge crew from the gym so it was fun to hang out and talk about how awesome Jason Khalipa is. If you didn't know, he is awesome. When I was at the bar ordering yet another pint of cider this random lady was like "oh dear, what happened?" and then I went through the standard story and she was like "well you still look beautiful!". Thank you lady, I was feeling fat and gross and that comment made me feel slightly less fat and gross. Ah, relying on the kindness of strangers to boost my confidence. It doesn't work very often.

Is that Jason Khalipa?
Why yes, yes it is!
I've decided that I will tell you about the backpack story. It all happened last year in September. It was a huge joint birthday party at the gym, and it was also my first time going to the gym to not work out, but to get ridiculously drunk. The whole 48 hours of being at the party and the after math was really pretty embarrassing. I had only been going to the gym for less than 3 months. So you'd think I'd want to contain myself and not unleash the crazy that is stupidly drunk Bonnie. Well that didn't happen. I blame everyone else for this of course. You see, I was innocently drinking my cider, and then I was getting espresso martinis shoved down my throat by Scott (part owner of the gym) - he will deny his part in this whole scenario, but I will go to my grave blaming you Scott! - and then my friend Sarah (also my boss) was handing me her ciders to drink as well. Now I don't want to be playing the blame game here but, if you give a 19 year old free alcohol, of course she will drink it. Others around me should've been responsible enough to know this. Then everything got a little dangerous, hanging upside down on ropes and holding inverted yoga poses, you know how it is. We even did a mini work out that involved kettle bell swings, lunges and lots of falling over. I actually ended up having blisters on my hands from swinging on the rings. We're CrossFitters, what do you expect? Anyway, I had to work the next day at 10am. The whole night I was thinking how awful this would turn out for me. Well let me tell you, that was an understatement. So the next morning I got up still drunk, trying exceptionally hard to just be able to put my pants on. Once I got that under control, I then went to hang my head in the toilet for a while to chill out. After getting quite comfortable with my toilet bowl, I then decided it was time to leave for work. You know when you get that feeling that you have to throw up but you can't, so you just have to hold your breath until the feeling subsides? That was me, constantly. Once I got to work I was the first one there and had to sit out the front until someone with a key got there. This is when it all went downhill. I mean, really it went downhill after the espresso martinis but anyway. There was some sort of construction going on out the front on the sidewalk, which always sounds awesome to someone who is hungover. And there was about 10 tradies hanging around, and I could feel that me holding my breath was not going to stop me from throwing up this time. So of course instead of running to the public bin 2 metres away from me, I threw up in my backpack. My justification is I couldn't lose respect from the tradies. Also, I didn't directly throw up in my backpack, it was in my lunch bag (wasn't going to be eating whatever I packed anyway) that was in my backpack. It was all very stealthy if I don't say so myself. Anyway, I lasted about an hour at work and then had to bail because I was pretty much incapacitated. Everyone thought it was hilarious that I couldn't work due to my hangover, but I decided not to go into detail about the backpack thing to retain some dignity. But it slowly got revealed over the months and so now I might as well just let everyone know so we're all on the same page. Yes I threw up in my backpack, and yes it was Scott's fault. In conclusion, CrossFit parties are awesome. Oh and I still use that backpack. I told you, class act.

P.s. my Dad said to me yesterday that he and my Mum are worried about me falling into the habit of doing nothing but drink and go out...

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